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A Girl Fight Broke Out At An IHOP Complete With Plates Being Thrown And Titties Popping Out

A few quick thoughts on this video.

1. Shout out to the countless people in that video that had their phones ready for this fight. The trick to getting on World Star is to not only shout World Star at the critical moments, but to also have the entire plot line of the fight as well as the best angle. These people may have lost a short stack of buttermilk pancakes or a waffle to the fracas, but you really can’t put a price on filming pure human rage and having a chance of it going viral on the internet.

2. Whenever anyone throws plates of food at someone else at a restaurant, I immediately think of the Chris Farley decaf coffee meltdown from SNL. So a sincere thank you to the combatant in red for that.

3. However if I may, a brief word to the gladiators that choose to fight in places like IHOP and Waffle House. Throwing plates is fine, but the plate is a very unstable weapon in combat. Its shape and contents on top (usually food of different sizes and weights) make it hard to throw with any accuracy. You will probably not hit your target and may injure an innocent bystander.

If you really want to do damage, pick up the thermos of coffee that is likely at your table and watch the civilians part like Moses did the Red Sea in fear of getting their skin melted off. Sure you may end up getting sued for burning someone, but your chances of hurting your opponent rise substantially. Plates are basically the Klobb from Goldeneye, while the coffee thermos is the Golden Gun.

4. The same week that Dave Chappelle releases his stand up act, a video comes out that is both relevant AND accurate to a classic scene from Chappelle’s Show that came out more than a decade ago.

To our lady in red:

Those titties sucked. Chappelle’s Show is truly timeless.

5. And last but not least, I would hope that the manager of this IHOP gave this Sam Wyche speech to everyone that was at the restaurant once the brouhaha died down (Replace “onto this field” with “in this restaurant” and “you don’t live in Cleveland you live in Cincinnati” with “you don’t eat at Waffle House, you eat at IHOP”).

Waffle House should be the place where the maniacs fight. IHOP should be for people that want to eat a billion pancakes on a budget with maybe the occasional shouting match. And Perkins is for people that enjoy a great Belgian waffle with strawberries and cream along with perhaps the dick of a Blasian golfer.