Danny Amendola And Olivia Culpo Remain Stupid Hot

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: this should be the Patriot pitch to free agents. Yeah, the Super Bowl trophies are cool, the ability to play with/for Tom Brady and Bill Belichick is a draw, money is nice, but when a potential free agent walks into Patriot Place there should just be a shitload of before and after shots of current players. Show just how great it is playing in New England by showing the transformation players have gone through since their arrival. The Jets give cupcakes, the Patriots give a better life.

Not that Danny Amendola was ever ugly, but now he’s dating Miss Universe and is insanely handsome. Julian Edelman looked like a maniac when he got drafted, now he’s modeling and knocking up Swedish models and telling Victoria Secret chicks that he’s not ready to settle down. Tom Brady? Tom Brady was a goofy looking dude out of Michigan who has gotten more handsome every year, impregnated a famous actress, and is now married to the richest supermodel who ever lived.

It’s not up for debate, your life gets better when you sign with the New England Patriots. Every single aspect of it improves exponentially. Tell free agents they’ll get that along with a Super Bowl ring and they’ll all be clamoring to sign on the dotted line for below market value.