Need Antoine Walker And His New Body To Bring Back The Walker Wiggle

I love Toine, who doesn’t? So don’t take this as me fat-shaming here, take it as offering savvy business advice, albeit to a man who doesn’t need it given his well-recorded history of smart money moves.

When you’ve got a wagon like that you’re doing a disservice to the world when you don’t share your gift. I don’t care if you’re a guy or a girl, when you look like you’re smuggling Tempurpedic pillows in your pants then I wanna see that gravy jiggle. Fat guy touchdowns are a beloved thing because they mean you get to see a fat guy endzone dance and those endzone dances are every bit as great no matter the setting. You see a big dude cause a ruckus with that rump and every crowd ever is gonna go wild. I don’t care if he’s at a Chippendales, a kid’s birthday party, or on set at the SEC Network… if a fat man makes it move then he makes everyone move. It’s like the moon and the tides, really.

Just imagine these moves going down in Martin Lawrence’s Big Momma fat suit…

I’d pay no less that 12 dollars to see that. Anybody would. You know what 12 dollars times lots of people equals? Money. Boatloads of it. Antoine Walker’s pants-full of it.