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Not Gonna Lie, Chucking Bean Bags Towards Tex At Point Blank Range Was Extremely Fulfilling

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So, so satisfying. Quite dickish, yes, but it was done by request and I simply couldn’t hide the giddyness in my face. But I’ll be real here, I’d never thought I’d meet an individual more carelessly cocky than this kid, Tex. Every damn day he’s always throwing out something and tries to back it up. He’ll waltz in at 9am and throw out that he’d dominate anyone in cornhole, windsprints, or eye shots. Tex, weighing in at a soaking wet 160 pounds, once said he could could pin me in a Greco-Roman wrestling match. I showed mercy, and just almost broke his wing off in an arm wrestling match (watch here), but I respect the fuck out of this idiot for at least attempting to prove he’s the cock of the walk. It’ll legit kill him one day, and that day will probably be tomorrow, but at least he’ll go down swinging. It’s like the unbridled enthusiasm that led to Billy Mumphrey’s downfall, just with degenerateness. You gotta respect the outright batshittidy out of a 22-year-old who has proven nothing with their life but think, nay, believe they can do everything.

This kid at least has a screw loose. Probably a chromosome, too. But that won’t stop me from trying to make him into a man. Even though it’ll be a futile effort once he’s dead.

Seriously though, #FightTexFight. Let’s go kid. You’re due for a W.