I'm All Aboard Papa Johns Letting You Pay To Cut The Delivery Line

NY Post- For another $3, Papa John’s pizza will get to your door a little faster. The Louisville-based pie-making chain stole a page from fee-loving airlines and is offering customers the privilege of paying more to get to the front of the line. The $2.99 “Papa Priority” was recently launched in a handful of of cities, with hopes of expanding the practice. But unlike first- or business-class air travel, with tangible, obvious benefits, there’s no time guarantee with “Papa Priority.”

Cutting the delivery line! Am I supposed to expect any less of the Papa Of Pizza? The guy that gave Peyton the smooch of a lifetime after Superbowl 50? From the man that brought you 50% off his pies straight from Italy Louisville every time the Rangers score 3 or more goals comes another one of his remarkable deals- Priority Delivery. First came the wheel, then photography, then color television, then internet porn, then PaPa John’s priority delivery. Innovation like you eat about.

The big concern on my mind about this is if the fine folks who work at Papa Johns will respect the process. If I’m shelling out a hard-earned 3 dollars to get my drunk pizza 4 minutes before some poor schmuck, I better get my pizza before that poor schmuck. But thinking logically, why would a delivery driver go out of his way to do a longer drive? I already gave him my 3 dollars, he knows I’m drunk as shit, so fuck me right? Money may be no object when drunk, I’d probably buy a submarine or the T206 Honus Wagner if my friends asked me to, but if I pay any sum of money for an expedited service that said service better come through big time.