Notre Dame Kid Gets Sentenced To 10 Days In Jail For Stealing 656 Pairs Of Women's Underwear

CLEVELAND, Ohio — A former Notre Dame College student photographer who stole 656 pair of women’s underwear from fellow students, including athletes he photographed, was sentenced to spend 10 days in Cuyahoga County Jail.  Common Pleas Judge Steven Gall called David Zinram a “bad guy” who deserved prison time, but the judge said he couldn’t send the 22-year-old Westlake native to prison on the low-level felony charges that Zinram pleaded guilty to last month. “I have grave concerns about your behavior, what I’m going to characterize as deviant behavior,” Gall said. Zinram struck a deal with prosecutors and pleaded guilty to two counts of receiving stolen property, a fourth-degree felony, and one count of misdemeanor theft. Sentencing guidelines lead judges to give probation for felonies under the third degree. Zinram’s March arrest broke open a case that had puzzled Notre Dame campus detectives for months and struck fear across the campus dorms, Notre Dame College Police Chief Jeffrey Scott said.

10 days?!?!? 10? We’re talking 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 days? That’s it? That seems a little light, judge. No he didn’t kill anybody but I guarantee that kid is thinking, “10 days? 10 days for stealing those 656 used pair of underwear? Bahahahahaha that’s AWESOME! I can’t wait to get out and start snatching panties again. I can do 10 days in my sleep. I’m only gonna miss one episode of This Is Us. I’ll just sleep and dream of all the underwear I’m gonna steal in a week and a half.” By the way, it was laugh out loud funny when the prosecuting lawyer dumped the bag of underwear out in court. It was so anticlimactic because the dude had trouble speaking words. If that happens in a movie, it’s the biggest scene. The courtroom would packed, men would be  and old ladies would be fainting into the aisle. That reveal should’ve been like pulling out a picture of a murder holding the murder weapon. Nope. Instead it fell completely flat and then there was just a giant pile of underwear in the middle of the room and everyone was trying not to laugh. Not exactly John Grisham-type drama there.

The judge with a serious Captain Obvious moment here

I have grave concerns about your behavior, what I’m going to characterize as deviant behavior,” Gall said.

Yeah I’d say stealing 656 pairs of underwear would qualify as a deviant behavior, your honor.