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Now We Find Out Seals are Having Sex with Penguins

Tuesday Chaps wrote a blog about a monkey having sex with a deer. And obviously I’m proud of working for a site progressive enough to celebrate interspecies mating like this. So I’m not trying to be a One-Upper, I’m honestly not. But…

BBCThings are heating up in the cold climes of the sub-Antarctic. On a remote, and mostly desolate island, seals have been caught engaging in an extreme form of sexual behaviour.

Specifically, they have been trying to have sex with penguins.

More than one fur seal has been caught in the act, on more than one occasion. …

In three of the four recorded incidents the seal let the penguin go. But on one of the more recent occasions, the seal killed and ate the penguin after trying to mate with it.

Compared to these two crazy kids with their wild love making, the monkey and the deer might as well have met on Christian Mingle. At least they’re both mammals. At some point they shared a common ancestor. Some rodent of Boreoeutheria origin, 100 million years ago or so. Before one branch of the family tree took the trees and the other developed hooved legs.

For the seal and the penguin, you probably have to go back to single-celled organisms in the primordial ooze to find a link. One is an aquatic pinniped mammal. The other is a flightless, egg-laying bird. Having sex with someone outside your taxonomic class isn’t just next level interspecies coupling, it’s the level beyond next level. Not to mention the kink factor of having sex with someone below you on the food chain. So get some, seals. We’re not judging. It’s 2017. And if we can have a President Elect who may or may not be into getting peed on by Russian hookers (note: he isn’t), we can accept sex between consenting adult seals and penguins.