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Troubling Times Up North As Wild Car-Licking Moose Are On The Loose In Canada

moose

BBC - Officials in western Canada are warning motorists not to interact with moose if they find the animals licking salt off their cars.

An alert issued by the province of Alberta’s government says that moose are approaching vehicles in car parks near two trails in Peter Lougheed Provincial Park, and warns people not to try to push the animals away while on foot. It advises that the recommended “moose viewing distance” is 30m (100ft), and any car-licking creatures should be deterred by either sounding a horn or using a remote door alarm instead.

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It’s a sad reality but sometimes it takes atrocities like this in the world to remind us all how truly lucky we are. I know that we have some problems here in America of our own but in the grand scheme of things, they are minuscule. Here we are, getting to enjoy the holiday season with friends and family. Maybe you cozy up at home next to the fire place, watching holiday movies and the worst thing you have to deal with is maybe your creepy uncle making strange, unwarranted sexual advancements on you. But at least you get to go to sleep at night knowing that you’ll wake up to see a tomorrow. Unfortunately, the same thing can’t be said for our brothers and sisters up North.

Just imagine having to deal with this on a daily basis. The fear of the unknown. At one point you’re just minding your own business driving through Calgary, the next moment your car is getting tongued harder than Natalie Portman’s asshole on a Friday night. By some deranged moose who has no regard for human life. It’s terrifying. I just hope those hosers can stay strong up there.

#PrayForToddAndGordo

@BarstoolJordie