Vogue Magazine Says Cleavage Is No Longer "In"

(Source) – Cleavage is over, according to Vogue. The fashion bible says the look has gone bust, and daring necklines that expose too much are now no longer in fashion. The ruling was made in this month’s edition, where writers said models are now showing off more of their shoulders, stomach or legs instead. The article, called “Desperately Seeking Cleavage”, said: “The cleavage – those magnificent mounds pushed together to display sexual empowerment, to seduce, to inspire lust or even just to show off – is over, or at least, taking a well-earned break. “The t*ts will not be out for the lads. Or for anyone else, for that matter. “Rejecting the stereotypes of gender has been brought sharply into focus, with the days of women as eye-candy, their sexuality positively smouldering rather than subtly played out, officially over.”

Guess what? TOTALLY AGREE! Cleavage is so fucking out. Cleavage is 90’s shit. Some chick walks up to me in a bar (happens all the time I swear) with her titties popping out and I’m just like, “Ew! Get those sandbags away from me. You don’t know how to dress.” I mean, do I like breasts? Sure. Love breasts. Breasts are the best. Did someone tell you I don’t like breasts? They’re liars. But if we’re talking strictly from a fashion standpoint, and I believe that’s what Vogue specializes in, then cleavage being out is spot-on. I remember when I was 15 I thought, “leave something to the imagination,” was the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard but I co-sign hard now. I don’t need push-up bras and low-cut shirts everywhere I look. You want to pop something out? Pop that ass. It’s 2016, afterall, and butt stuff is the hottest thing on the planet. Mix in some distressed jeans with a little rip on the back if you want to show some skin. But breasts? No thank you, I ordered ass.

PS – I wish there was a better words for breasts. Boobs is like calling a penis a peepee and tits is like calling a penis a cock. One’s too childish, one’s way too strong. For penis we have “dick,” that’s perfectly in the middle. But there’s nothing for breasts. You’re either a 10 year old or crude.