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Oregon Church In Trouble After They Ban Fat People From Attending Services

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Fox News- An Oregon church which came under fire in recent weeks for instituting a ban on fat people as part of a slew of mandatory guidelines to be a part of the congregation’s worship team, apologized for the ban on Saturday and begged forgiveness to anyone their rules may have offended. “There has been some media circulating about our Worship Team Guidelines. Forgive us if we offended anyone. That certainly was not our intention. These guidelines have never been used to discriminate against anyone and have never been enforced,” New Creation Church in Hillsboro declared in the terse apology posted on its website in reaction to the online backlash that ensued after details of their “Worship Team Guidelines” came under recent scrutiny. “We want the worship team to look the best they can! Remember that the way we look is of utmost importance,” the guidelines to would-be worship team members at the Oregon church warned in the document declaring “no excessive weight.”

A couple things. One, churches can do whatever they want. Quite literally. They don’t have to pay taxes and are allowed to ban fat people from their services. This isn’t judgement. It’s just an observation. Churches are more powerful than the government so the fact that this church backed down on it’s No Fatties Allowed policy is a little embarrassing for them. Second, are we all just gonna pretend like fat people aren’t the worst? I am a fat person and I know I’m the worst. I breathe like Tony Soprano. My clothes don’t fit properly. I sweat on everyone and everything. I eat more than my share. I’m legitimately shocked fat people aren’t banned from more places actually. The fact that I’m allowed to wander into the same restaurants and stores as healthy people is kind of insane. We are a nuisance of the highest order. So of course this church wants to ban fat people. Less fat people = more people can fit in the pews = more tax-free money in the church’s pockets. Not to mention more of those Body of Christ crackers to go around. It makes sense on every level.