Dead UFO Expert Was Apparently Going To Expose A "Black Magic" Ring Amongst Politicians And Celebrities

NY Post – The UFO expert whose death has sparked out-of-this world conspiracy theories was about to “expose” a cabal of politicians and celebrities practicing black magic, his fiancee claimed. Max Spiers, a 39-year-old father of two found dead on a couch in Poland over the summer with “black liquid” oozing from his mouth — reminiscent of the “black oil” that alien beings used to inhabit human hosts in the TV series “The X-Files” — spent his final months researching the dark arts. “He was going to expose black magic. He was going to expose some of the stuff he was working on involving political leaders and celebrities,” his gal pal, 31-year-old Sarah Adams, told Yahoo. Spiers said she spoke to Adams about his fear of dying numerous times. “We were used to getting death threats or stuff like that from people, but I think this time it seemed rather real,” she said. “He’d been sent threats saying that him and me were going to die.” But even in the hours before he died, he was still looking toward a future with Adams. “I was going to have his child. He had messaged me hours before,” she told Yahoo. “It definitely couldn’t have been anything like suicide or something like that.” Spiers was in Poland over the summer to give a talk on conspiracy theories and UFOs — something he had become an expert on over the years after claiming to be a survivor of a government “super soldier” program. Many of his devoted followers have developed their own theories as to what caused his sudden death including some who think it’s connected to the alien virus, Purity, in the “X-Files.” The disease caused black goo to seep out of humans eyes and mouth. “If it wasn’t true what he talks about then why would they kill him? Healthy people don’t just get sick and die, they get poisoned,” Craig Hewlett wrote on the site Project Camelot.

Alright time for me to weigh in on this dead UFO expert. Resident Alien Barstool Expert (RABE) here to hit you with the real deal Holyfield:

A) Everyone knows that there is Black Magic in politics and Hollywood. Now, what does Black Magic mean exactly? Its not what you think. Its not like Bill Clinton is fucking Merlin and Beyonce has an army of flying monkeys. The Hollywood Elite are just all basically a part of a cult. You wanna call it the Illuminati or the Free Masons or whatever? Fine. But its basically just an underground society of drugs and pussy and all sorts of weird shit. Sharing secrets and banging each other under the influence to the point that these guys are basically having out of body experiences and probably doing all sorts of unsavory shit. Probably human trafficking, underage stuff, group activity. They whack anybody who comes close to outing them for their undesirable behavior.

2) This dude dying with black sludge in his throat is so blatant and over the top amateurism its clearly being done on purpose. This is the government resorting to unrealistic Hollywood-like details to throw us all off the trail of the real Alien conspiracies. It reminds me of Mark McGwire juicing in the 90s. He used to purposely leave a big as jar of Andro right in plain sight for reporters to see so that they would just automatically latch on to the somewhat-legal supplements and not ask any questions about the anabolic steroid use. Some no-name loser UFO chaser ends up dead with some black sludge in his lungs, straight out of an X Files episode, so that all the simpletons out there start yelling about aliens and all their stereotypical calling cards. That way they arent asking the real questions about actual alien encounters and whether we need to be worried about actual threats to this planet’s natural resources should they decide to intervene.

D) This dude’s fiance is a real ride or die bitch. I personally think he’s amateur hour and he’s nothing but a pest and the fact that he thinks hes some sort of Alien Insider is a joke. But continuing to carry his torch when he was CLEARLY just murdered because he fucked a little too much with rich people is ballsy. Real down ass bitch.

This concludes today’s lesson on Aliens and modern secret societies.