You Can Swim With Giant Crocodiles In Australia Inside Of Something Called The "Cage Of Death"

CNET- Ah, vacation! A chance to kick back, relax, turn off your phone and scare the ever-loving bejeezus out of yourself by getting up close and personal with some motorcycle-sized crocodiles that could eat you for breakfast and still want brunch afterwards. Welcome to the Cage of Death at Crocosaurus Cove, an up-close reptile experience in Darwin, Australia.

The Cage of Death, dubbed “Australia’s only crocodile dive experience,” looks like an oversized jam jar suspended in croc-infested water. It’s big enough for a couple of people to fit inside. Hopefully, it will also muffle your screams as huge hungry reptiles snack on raw meat right in front of your face.

The Cage of Death operates via an overhead monorail. It dangles you above a croc pond before lowering you down to croc-level. Prices start at AU$165 (US$125, £100). You will need to sign a waiver and receive safety training before going in.

That right there is the most Australia thing ever. Only those crazy sons of bitches would set up the closest thing to a real life Jurassic Park after every one of those movies ends in abject disaster and charge you $125 for the experience. Who in their right mind swims with any crocodiles, let alone GIGANTIC crocodiles? Ridiculous shit. If a crocodile is bigger than a human, it should be called a Crocodilesaurus. That way you realize you are swimming with basically a living, breathing, eating dinosaur.

And if you get eaten by a crocodile that you paid to swim with inside of something called the Cage of Death, you shouldn’t be allowed to have a funeral. Your loved ones shouldn’t mourn you and your memory should be forgotten forever. I think that is a firm but fair rule.

h/t jeanie