Does This Look Like The Face Of A Drunk Guy Who Got Naked, Tried To Break Into A House Then Took A Shit On The Porch?

ICPC- An Iowa City man was arrested after he allegedly tried to trespass into an Iowa City house while naked, and then defecated and urinated on the house’s doorstep. According to police complaints from the Iowa City Police Department, officers responded to a house at 12:28 a.m. Saturday in the 3300 block of Lower West Branch Road of Iowa City on a report of a naked man trying to trespass into the victim’s house by pushing his way into the front door. The man had left the residence when police had arrived. A resident of the house had identified the man as Thomas Larry Warren, 49, of Iowa City, whose clothes, wallet, car keys and driver’s license had been left on their doorstep, according to the complaint. While on the property, Warren allegedly urinated and defecated on the doorstep.

You know what? No. That doesn’t look anything like a drunk guy who got naked, tried to break into a house then took a shit on the porch. Usually when we post Does This Look Like The Face Of blogs the person looks like they would do exactly what we’re describing. The opposite is true with this guy. He looks like a high school geometry teacher. He looks like a guy who wrote a novel that nobody wants to read. He looks Martin Scorsese if you stretched out Martin Scorsese’s face. He doesn’t fit the part whatsoever. Especially since this happened in Iowa City where the University of Iowa is. There’s literally a campus full of kids who would look the part of a porch shitter before you’d get to that guy. What are you doing dude? You’re 49 years old. Go to the leather chair in your den and read today’s paper. Stay at home and watch re-runs of M.A.S.H. Do whatever old people do when they’re washed up. Leave the shitting on doorsteps to the people who should be shitting on doorsteps.