A College Couple Having Sex The First Time Were Embarrassed To Buy Condoms And Learned Why You Don't Use A Shopping Bag Instead
Mirror – A couple having sex for the first time were left with serious injuries – after the man used a plastic bag as a condom. The unnamed duo, who were having intercourse for the first time, were treated in hospital for genital lesions, abrasions and bleeding.
Doctor Nguyen The Luong, deputy director of Hanoi Kidney Hospital, said that the couple were both college students, reports news site Tuoi Tre.
He said the male was too shy to go out and buy condoms.
Dr Luong added that the pair, who live in Vietnam, have been examined and are on antibiotics to help them recover.
According to the doctor, plastic bags, having no elasticity and lubrication, are entirely unsuitable for this purpose.
Huh so apparently the whole “put a bag on it” phrase is not something you should take literally, ***the more you know. It’s funny because I’m sure like most guys I’ve thought in my head “Yeah I bet you could fuck a girl with a Pathmark bag in a pinch” but obviously I’d never do that because I’m not an idiot and I would much rather risk STDs and pregnancy for the joyous 30 seconds of sweet bareback loving. I admire these two lovestruck kids’ dedication to safety and all that but next time try a little something called pulling out. Every journey begins with a foot step and every sex career truly begins with desperately trying to keep semen corked away while banging a chick without protection and then sweating it out for a month. I’d take that anxiety and the risk of future life entanglements over plastic bag-induced dick rug burn every single time. Life lessons for creepy American Beauty neighbor kid here.
The one thing I will relate to with this kid…nothing worse on Earth than buying condoms. I know I fully imagine it but every time I’ve ever bought condoms I feel like the cashier looks at me with something ranging between “Yeah suuuuure you need these” and “Ohhhhh look at Mr. Has Sex With Women over here, go fuck yourself.” If that sort of imaginary judgment is in my head I can only imagine the poor Vietnamese teenager shopping for condoms and having to ask if they come in sizes more appropriate for a pinky thimble. I still wouldn’t go with the bag option…but I understand.
(photo from Flickr/Newtown_Graffiti)