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Donald Trump Had Titties On The Mind During Today's Speech In Detroit

I don’t want to hear anybody give Donald Trump shit for messing this up. Anyone that sees a good pair of titties will have them on his/her mind for a while, even if they are speaking in public. Maybe Melania was looking extra fine this morning and it got stuck in his head. We all saw those naked pictures of her and knows she’s still throwing heat at an advanced age like Nolan Ryan.

Hell, whenever I’m speaking in front of a large group of people (not very often, obviously), all I can think of is “Don’t slip up and say pussy or something weird”. And that’s just my brain being dumb. Even the great Dr. Doback succumbed to a boob slip up after setting his eyes on a wonderful pair of tits.

Trump has probably said somewhere in the range of a billion words the last year or so. Sooner or later he was going to replace the word “cities” with “titties”. And what if Trump did this to trick people into thinking of titties every time they heard the word Detroit? Boom, the entire public perception of Detroit would be fixed overnight. Best thing to happen to Motown since Big Cat invented the frambulance. So lets all agree, regardless of what side you are on, to chalk this up as a mulligan for Trump. I don’t want any snarky tweets from Team Hillary and Team Trump won’t say anything if Hill Dawg does the same if a beautiful, perky pair of tits throws her for a loop.

By the way, Mary Steenburgen is the Benjamin Button of actresses. She gets hotter and younger looking every time I see her. I had no interest in her when I watched Back To The Future III or What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. But she’s a certified sex bomb in Step Brothers and can make it move every time she is on screen in Curb. It would be like Andie McDowell suddenly becoming super hot overnight. Mind boggling shit.