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Bill Simmons Says Nobody Calls Bartolo "Big Sexy"

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Last night I get a tweet about Bill Simmons show as I’m watching Mr. Robot, because I’m not one of the paltry 100,000 people watching his show.

And while ordinarily I wouldn’t let anything interrupt me from Rami Melak Wednesdays at 10pm, I had to take a look. When people start talkin greasy about Big Sexy, I perk up. Simmons did this whole segment with a Milmore-esque cartoon basically explaining the history of fat athletes and how they are always beloved. Its basically just a column hes wrote like 15 years ago spoken out loud on a TV. Anyway, towards the end he drops this little throwaway line that nobody actually calls Bartolo “Big Sexy.”

Hey bro the real question is who calls Big Sexy “Bartolo” at this point? I mean why the fuck do you think he trademarked it in the first place, Bill? Wouldnt really make much sense to trademark something that nobody was saying, now would it.

Nobody calls him that other than his teammates:

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The media (SVP):

The entire league:

And the entire internet:

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But aside from them, thats it. Nobody besides his teammates, the media, the whole league, and the entire internet. Nobody calling Bartolo Big Sexy aside from that. Glad you got your finger on the pulse of everything, Bill. The show is sure to be a success with relatable content like this.