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In The Least Surprising News Ever The Phillies Have Fallen Back To Earth

Only 2 weeks ago we Philadelphian’s were on cloud 9. The Sixers had just received the #1 overall pick, but more importantly, the Phillies were winning. Fast forward to the present and this recent losing spell has brought us back to the depressing reality we know too well.

7 in a row. 11 of their last 12. When the Phillies lose, they certainly know how to do it right don’t they? The offense sucks. I know this, the whole damn town knows this. It has cost this team way too many games and now the pitching can’t seem to keep up anymore. At least we have Jimmy Parades currently hitting 3rd in our lineup, the guy Toronto just released and who is in possession of career 5.6 SO/BB ratio and .666 OPS. 4 of his 5 at bats in a Phillies uni have already been strikeouts.

What about Ryan Howard you ask? Well his .153 BA is currently riding pine for the next 3-4 days to “clear his head” and to make room for the Tommy Joseph experience, which seems to be going well I guess? The kid has mashed 3 home runs, but the team is still only averaging 3.5 runs on games he starts. Small sample size I know, but his presence really hasn’t had that great of an impact in the lineup just yet. Tyler Goeddel on the other hand has really come into his own as of late, providing a slight spark on both sides of the ball.

At least we have Odubel to keep us sane, right? Ehh not really. His .206 BA and .300 OBP in his last 9 games has shown that the lack of offense is really starting to frustrate him. Once the only fixture in our lineup, his calm approach at the plate has turned into something we would expect out of Maikel Franco. Plus, am I the only one who has noticed what a terrible Centerfielder he is. The routes the dude takes to balls are absolutely pathetic.

As if things could not get any worse, The medicority at the Major League level has even trickled down to the minors. Top prospect, J.P. Crawford is hitting way below the Mendoza line. This comes after a Triple A call up and a call I made to Marc Farzetta of 94.1 WIP, bitching him out for calling his promotion to the next level “a mistake.” Making me look like an asshole J.P. Also, Mark Appel is currently on the DL with a shoulder strain, but at least he is having fun.

The start to the season had my hopes sky high, but all good things have to come to an end. After all, I am a Phillies fan. We have the MLB Draft to look forward to and I’ll touch more on it next week. #TeamPuk