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Marlins Manager Don Mattingly Is Adopting Lame Ass "No Facial Hair" Rule

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It’s Don Mattingly’s sixth year as a big league manager, and his first year managing the Miami Marlins. It’s also his first year enforcing the rule that his players are not allowed to have facial hair.

“Guys will whine,” Mattingly said Sunday. “Some guys like it, some guys won’t. As long as we’re consistent, I think it’s not that big of a deal.”

What the fuck is this? If it’s not even that big of a deal, then why are you even doing it? I mean, I know the Yankees do this because they think that they’re better than everybody, hold themselves to a higher standard, and float above the rest of the league, even though they have players who choke their girlfriends, and players who end up in alcohol rehab after getting involved in brawls outside of nightclubs. At least they looked clean shaven, though!

Anyway, what does this actually do, besides piss off the players who like having facial hair? I dropped out of EMT school once I found out that I had to shave my beard. Guys who have had facial hair for their entire adult lives shouldn’t be asked to alter their appearance just to play baseball. If you don’t want guys looking like slobs, then that’s fine. Tell them to clean it up. But you can have a beard, goatee or mustache without sacrificing professionalism if it’s well kept. If having facial hair makes a player feel confident and comfortable, then wouldn’t you want that for your player instead of enforcing a dumb rule that you don’t even think is a big deal?

That’s one way to piss off your clubhouse before you even play one meaningful game. Thumbs up.