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The Video Of Martin Shkreli Going At Ghostface Killah Has To Be A Hoax, Right?

 

It is times like this that I am happy Jimmy Kimmel always re-opens our eyes like Morpehus in The Matrix and let us know that hoaxes do indeed exist on the Internet.  Because there is no fucking way that this is real.  Nobody and I mean nobody fucks with the Wu Tang Clan.  Not Tupac when he was calling out every other rapper on the East coast.  Not Action Bronson, who backpedaled faster than Deion in his prime after Ghostface called him out.  And I’m pretty sure anyone in the Wu could write an entire thesis paper 140 characters at a time on Twitter dissing Kim Kardashian and Kanye wouldn’t say a peep.  Shkreli talking about his goons is like John McClane talking about his gun in Harlem during Die Hard With A Vengeance.  You have a gun?  They have 10 guns.  You have three goons?  The Wu Tang has three thousand goons.

So now we have to figure out why Martin Shkreli would try to become a real life Lex Luthor and dress three actors in masks to look like guys that the Wu Tang definitely already has on retainer.  Does Shkreli have a deal with TMZ to get his lawyer fees paid like when Suge bailed out Tupac and signed him to Death Row?  Is he trying to remind us that he bought Once Upon A Time In Shaolin and just wants attention like the rich asshole that nobody likes other than when he buys cool shit?  I have no idea.  But I know he is embarrassing white people by acting like such a douche.

I will say this though.  Calling Ghostface by his government name of Dennis definitely threw me off.  It’s like when Abe called Johnny Bananas “John” during this season of The Challenge.  Or remembering that Ice Cube’s real name is O’Shea.  Weird every single time.