The Chandler Jones Police Report Makes Him Sound Like The Nicest, Most Polite Guy In The World

(via @lilsarg)

Dead ass, how could anyone do anything but love Chandler Jones after this? Like all the people calling for the cop’s heads because they “covered up” this “crime” better have a goddamn buffet full of crow in front of them. I guess I agree that the police should’ve immediately gone public, but only to show what a great guy Chandler is. Literally stoned out of his mind and he’s the nicest, most polite, compliant dude who doesn’t resist or argue, simply respects everybody. If anything the police need to give him a Citizen of the Year award or some shit, make an example and say this is how you handle cop interactions: just don’t be a fucking dickhead and get home fine.

If you can read that and feel anything but bad for Chandler then you’re an idiot. Poor guy was roaming around like a lost, shirtless puppy in the freezing cold and just needed help. He didn’t know what planet was on and he reached out for a caring hand, one that the Foxboro PD provided. We’ve all been there. To me, everyone in this story is a goddamn hero. Nice, heartwarming tale to start off the afternoon. I love it. Great work by all.

PS – I get that Jones interlocking his hands and getting himself in the arrest position was probably an “I surrender, don’t shoot me” move, and luckily a successful one, but the cops thinking he was praying means that was a fucking close call. As hard as black dudes have it, I feel like making yourself looking like a Muslim praying outside a police station is one rung down that social ladder and scratches the trigger finger just a smidge more.