Ghetto Willy Wonka Arrested After Stealing 7,500 Pounds Of Candy And Then Selling It Out Of His Garage

PE - Candy bars led to jail bars for a 35-year-old desert man caught with a garageful of stolen sweets, say San Bernardino County sheriff’s officials. Hesperia resident Jesus N. Ibarra was arrested a 1:14 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 7, at his home along the 13100 block of Modesto Court and booked for investigation of a grand theft of a cargo and possessing stolen property, jail records show. He was released on bail. The trouble started after Excel Corporation — the West Coast distributor for Mars Candy Company — contracted with a trucking company to haul a load of candy that hadn’t passed inspection to a San Bernardino county location for destruction. When the truck arrived, about 7,500 pounds of candy were missing, sheriff’s officials said in a written statement. The handcuffs came out, sheriff’s officials said, after investigators learned that the serial numbers on the boxes in the garage matched those on the shipment meant for destruction. That led to Ibarra’s home. Authorities say his garage had been turned into a candy store with 30 racks of boxed candy labeled with prices.

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Fucking AWESOME move. First things first- they were going to throw away, DISCARD 7,500 pounds, motherfucking pounds, of delicious candy. I don’t care if it’s past the expiration date or tested high for arsenic, you don’t willy nilly throw away 7,500 pounds of chocolates. There are people who pay for porn, there is a market for anything and everything. So you have to give Jesus N. Ibarra a ton of entrepreneurial credit for seeing his opening and taking it. In his mind 7,500 pounds of candy wasn’t going to be sold anyway, why not sell it himself? It’s brilliant. How can you get arrested for selling trash? It’s like if someone goes to the dump and takes a chair, it’s not stealing, it’s recycling. And now add in the fact he turned his garage into a ghetto ass Willy Wonka chocolate factory and it’s just perfect. Dude has 30 racks of candy, all priced out. Probably had some orange midgets walking around singing showtunes and rolling spoiled bitches to the juicing room. Jesus should be lauded for his spirit, not handcuffed. For shame, police people. For shame.

PS: Probably my favorite Willy Wonka observation/joke is how the Candy Man was fucking making it rainnnnnn on these kids with candy

and then made poor as fuck Charlie buy his candy bars. Just so fucking mean.

Also, FUCK Grandpa Joe. This lazy ass bitch and his family sleep 24 hours a day while Charlie’s mom works 4 jobs, making them all eat onion soup for dinner, and then the second Charlie gets a golden ticket he pops out of bed like a spring chicken on a sunny day. Go fuck yourself Grandpa Joe, Charlie should have punched him right in the eyeballs.