“All I Want For Christmas Is You” No Longer Being The Most Played Holiday Song In Stores Is Simply Idiotic
Paste Magazine- Ah, yes. Holiday music. You either love it or hate it— there is no in between. From retail stores to the radio stations that devote themselves solely to the holidays each season, you can’t escape the joyful, jingle-bell-ridden tracks that will be stuck in your head well into January.
The company PlayNetwork works with 400 brands to compile their playlists for their stores. They’ve put together a list that shows the songs that will be played in retail the most, which if you do any gift-shopping that’s not purely online, you’ll most definitely hear it. And if you work in retail, apologies to you because you’ll hear them ALL. THE. TIME.
This year, a song has beat out the ever-popular “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey. Thank God, because it’s been the most-played song for the holidays since its release in 1994. 20 years is enough for a song to top the list, is it not?
Without further ado, here is the PlayNetwork-compiled list of songs you’ll hear the most this season while holiday shopping.
1) The Shins “Wonderful Christmastime”
2) Mariah Carey “All I Want For Christmas Is You”
3) Christina Aguilera “Christmas Time”
4) Waitresses “Christmas Wrapping”
5) Jack Johnson “Someday At Christmas”
6) Kelly Clarkson “Underneath The Tree”
7) Michael Buble “A Holly Jolly Christmas”
8) Bing Crosby “White Christmas”
9) Train “What Christmas Means To Me”
10) Ella Fitzgerald “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”
This is why retail stores are getting their dicks handed to them one Amazon prime package at a time. Because when you are being attacked by price gouging stores on the Internet that can deliver stuff right to your door for free, sometimes within an hour, you need to give people a reason to go to your stores. Whether that means having the best Christmas song ever on loop, a Santa Claus for the kids or a flirty kiosk worker.
Or if you mall has a Panda Express. That’s a fair reason to go out and fight people tooth and nail for a parking spot in (usually) shitty, cold weather.
But the part of this story that doesn’t add up to me is how “Wonderful Christmastime” is the song that knocked Mariah off the throne. Because this completely average Christmas song:
taking down the GOAT of Christmas songs:
is an all-time upset. I am talking on the same level as Buster Douglas over Mike Tyson. Maybe Mariah’s performance at last year’s tree lighting took away some of the song’s mystique, which opened the door for this type of tomfoolery to occur.
And while we are discussing Christmas songs, here is my personal Top 10 Christmas songs list:
1. “All I Want For Christmas Is You”- Mariah Carey
The GOAT Christmas song and the only Christmas song that can be played outside of the Christmas window from Thanksgiving to December 25th. It kills every single time it is played at a party, including my wedding which was an early fall wedding.
2. “Jingle Bell Rock”- Bobby Helms
Happy and fun music around the holidays. Easy, peasy by Bobby boy (I barely know any of the artists for the old Christmas songs). Plus the Mean Girls dance was A+++.
3(t). “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”- Jackson Five
Bruce fans will likely argue that he should be the one singing this song, but I am a Michael Jackson guy. Bruce’s version is great, but if loving the King of Pop back when he was the Prince of Pop is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
3(t). “Christmas in Hollis”- Run DMC
If it’s good enough for Argyle in Die Hard, it’s good enough for me.
4. “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree”- Brenda Lee
Always get the beginning confused with “Jingle Bell Rock”. But like JBR, this is a light, fun Christmas song that always hits it mark. Oh yeah, and the party scene of Home Alone is one of my favorite scenes in the movie.
5. “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”- Mariah Carey
The Scottie Pippen to Mariah’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” MJ. Underrated historically because of its album mate.
6. “‘Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays”- ‘N Sync
I was admittedly a hardo when this song first came out, but it’s hard to hate on this song the more you hate it. A young, blond curly cue JT just killing it. Plus girls LOOOOVE it. Yeah, that’s why this song is incredible.
7. “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas”- Michael Buble
Buble needed to be on here somewhere, and this spot with this song just seemed right. If you don’t have Buble’s Christmas music in your holiday party rotation, you are doing it wrong.
8. “Last Christmas”- Wham!
Kind of weird, definitely fun, and George Michael seems like someone we should have in our life during the holiday season.
9. “Holly Jolly Christmas”- Burl Ives
Pretty similar vibe to “Jingle Bell Rock” and “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree”. Almost impossible to not be merry and jolly while hearing this song in December.
10. “Please Come Home For Christmas”- Bon Jovi
You can go with The Eagles here too. Need a little bitter during the sweetness that is Christmas time. Bon Jovi gets the nod for me because Cindy Crawford was in his music video.
Dead Last. “Wrapped in Red”- Kelly Clarkson
The Krampus of Christmas songs. Utter trash.