Donald Trump Is Officially The Happy Gilmore Of The Presidential Race

(I love the stern book cover demanding you watch, like Ashley Schaeffer. WATCH! LET THE BOY WATCH ME SIGN THIS TITTY!)

Well there you have it, folks. Donald Trump is officially Happy Gilmore. He’s loud, he’s brash, rough around the edges, kinda racist, the typical fans of politics hate him, and he signs titties wherever he goes. All we need now is a clip of Jeb Bush begging thehead of the RNC to “KICK HIM OFF THE TOUR, DOUG!” and it will be official. The Republican frontrunner for president is a 90s movie character who golfs, which I guess is a step-up from the 80s movie bully that he used to be. Progress? Plus he just signed his name. I feel like that’s a step in the right direction. I pictured The Donald signing shit with personalized messages like, “What do you want it to say, Doreen? ‘Let’s put Muslims in camps’? You got it.”