Look Ladies, Men Aren't Just Pieces Of Meat, You Can't Just Start Twerking On Our Dicks At Gas Stations

TSG – Have you seen this twerker (or her equally scantily-clad cohort)? Police in Washington, D.C. today released the above store surveillance video in an attempt to get the public’s help in identifying two suspects in a third-degree sexual abuse case. According to cops, the women were videotaped accosting a male customer around 4 PM on Wednesday, October 7. One woman can be seen attempting to “twerk” upon the victim, while the other suspect repeatedly grabs at the man’s crotch and attempts to kiss him. The “persons of interest” are each dressed in the kind of revealing outfits that would not be out of place at a strip club. Anyone with details about the suspects is asked to call police at (202) 727-9099. Information leading to the arrest and conviction of the duo could result in a reward from Crime Solvers of Washington, DC.

Shakin my damn head. You can’t just twerk on us men at gas stations like we’re merely objects. We have feelings and stuff. Good for the DC police for trying to find these two broads. Sexual harassment is a two way street. It’s not something to take lightly. One second you’re merely trying to get coffee at the local Sheetz, the next second two chicks with huge cans start grinding on your cock, grabbing at your balls, trying to give you a blowie behind the chip aisle. That is not to be tolerated. So now we have serial twerkers on the loose in DC. They can pop up at any place, any time, ready to gyrate their asses on your dick. Could be next time you’re in Target, could be next time you’re pumping gas, you never know. These bitches want dick in their ass and don’t care who knows it. Or they’re hookers trying to pick guys up at gas stations, tomato tomato.

All jokes aside, can you imagine if it was the other way around? Some dudes walking up to a random woman in a gas station and rubbing their dicks all up on her? Grabbing at her vag? It’d be an all out manhunt. They’d be staging protests and sit ins. I’m actually shocked this is even news, so I guess that’s kinda a good thing?

PS: If you’re a hot chick and want to touch my dick near the gas station honey buns and zerba cakes, be my guest.