Salem Witch Taking World's Best Known Warlock To Court Over Harassment Charges

(World’s Best Known Warlock)

BOSTON – A woman who calls herself a witch priestess said she is taking a self-proclaimed warlock to court over accusations of harassment. Lori Sforza, who runs a Salem witchcraft shop and leads a pagan church, filed for court-ordered protection against harassment from Christian Day, whose website calls him the “world’s best-known warlock.” Sforza accused Day of harassing her online and over the phone for three years. The two will meet in court on Wednesday. The 75-year-old Sforza is accusing Day, 45, of repeatedly calling her late at night from a private number and swearing at her, said Fiore Porreca, an attorney representing her. Sforza, who goes by the business name Lori Bruno, also alleged that Day made malicious posts about her on social media. On her website, Sforza calls herself a psychic and a clairvoyant. She claims to be a descendent of Italian witches who healed victims of the bubonic plague. She is also the founder of Our Lord and Lady Of The Trinacrian Rose, a pagan church in Salem.

Wait a god damn minute. Honey you can’t be a witch priestess and the head of a pagan church and then take a Warlock to court over harassment. Oh no, no, no. (Dikembe Mutumbo finger wave) If you’re getting harassed by a warlock you put a spell on him fair and square. You get witchy on his ass. I mean honestly what’s the point of being a witch if you can’t even stop a fucking warlock from calling you at night? You call yourself clairvoyant and psychic but you can’t even figure out what his private number is. You say your grandparents cured the Bubonic plague and you can’t stop a guy from sending mean emails. Worst witch ever. Bottomline is witches can sue people like normal humans. No fucking way. Read a witch book for me 1 time.