You Hear All The Time About TSA Frisks and Searches, But They Are So, So Much Worse Than I Imagined. So Here's What Happened...

In this blog I’m going to tell the story of what happened to me at the airport today. I’m not telling it to complain, to be a social justice warrior, or anything else. Just telling the story. Because it sucked. It fucking sucked. My experience at the airport today, while it was only about 35 minutes, was one of the most stressful, nerve racking, unreal experiences in my life. I can’t imagine how any people lose their shit and either go nuts at the TSA agents, cry, have panic attacks, etc. due to these TSA frisks and searching. Here’s what happened, and it’s a fucking doozy.

I got to the airport for my flight, everything normal. Already checked in, no bags to check, just hop into the security line at Dulles, same as every flight I’ve ever been on. And that’s when the weirdest thing happened: there was a dog sniffing everyone. Just like every security dog you’ve ever seen. And wouldn’t you know it, the dog started sniffing me. I had no idea why (the reason why comes later in the story) but the woman with the dog told me I was fine and not to worry about it. So I show the person at security my ID and ticket, same ol shit, and then someone takes me to the front of the security line. I was like this is odd. And that’s when it begins.

The guy takes me to the front and disappears. I put my laptop, shoes, etc through the xray machine like normal. But I’m still wondering what was up with the dog, and why he brought me to the front of the line and then went away. I would think if I was a security threat they’d keep the TSA guy with me. So I do the xray machine where they see your junk and they pull me aside. They don’t tell me anything, don’t tell me what’s happening, and then a large man comes and tells me I need extra screening. I ask why. He says because I was randomly chosen. Doesn’t add up.

Let me say this right now: if they actually randomly choose people to frisk and pat down, that shit is fucked up.

Here’s what happens in a pat down. You hear about it a lot, occasionally there are YouTube videos of people yelling about being harassed and fondled…It’s no joke. You’re standing in the middle of the airport as a man tells you he’s going to use the back of his hand to touch your dick. And he does. You take off your belt so he can run his fingers around your waist. And meanwhile, you know NOTHING. They won’t talk to you. They won’t tell you what’s going on. You’re being groped in an airport like a prisoner and you can’t refuse it, you can’t question them, you can’t do anything. If I had something in my dick wouldn’t their billion dollar xray machine have found it?

Let me talk more about how they don’t tell you anything. You know those videos where people ask officers if they’re being detained or if they can leave? It’s sort of like that, but these TSA people are so rude to you. I was asking for any sort of explanation, they would say “why are you so nervous if you have nothing to hide?” Ummmm maybe I’m nervous because a man just jerked me off in the middle of the airport and now you’re emptying all my luggage and swabbing everything. In my head I’m thinking like…what could this possibly be? I don’t own weapons. I know as a fact there’s no drugs in there. What in the fuck is going on? I get that once the dog sniffed me they have measures to take, but the point is, holy shit are the measures fucked up. And if they actually do that to “random” people, holy shit I can’t imagine the feeling. It’s so helpless.

They then make me turn on my laptop so they can look at the home screen. Because once again, if the billion dollar xray machine doesn’t catch it, I’m sure me simply turning on my laptop would do the trick. It’s so bizarre. Like, I want to read how they came up with these steps and procedures. They don’t add up.

So here’s the main take aways:

1) They won’t give you any explanation, nothing. You sit there watching them go through your things in the middle of an airport with people looking on. I just have clothes and a book I won’t read, I can’t imagine how degraded women feel. When you ask for an explanation they make you feel like you’re doing something wrong by asking them. I started going crazy. They treat you like a piece of shit the entire time.

2) It’s so helpless. The worst part was at the end, they just say “ok, you’re good to go”. I asked what the issue was, why the dog sniffed me. The dog woman goes, and I wish I was making this up, “I don’t know, I can’t read the dog’s mind.” Jaw dropped. Like what? I asked what they found when they swabbed. Couldn’t get an answer. So I asked what I can do differently so this doesn’t happen again. She said “nothing”. I said but the dog sniffed me for a reason, there has to be something I can do…it’s just so helpless. Did I step on something outside? Is there something on my pants? It almost felt like I was on Candid Camera. I was waiting to find out I was part of a test or a drill. Because they wouldn’t tell me what caused it, what I did wrong, nothing.

3) I missed my flight because of it. The dog woman goes “well you should have gotten here earlier.” Do you know how infuriating that is? I wanted to punch her in the face. It made me wish they did find something just so I would have had a fucking reason to miss my flight.

It was just stunning how they treat you. I know there is a bunch of outrage about it, but I’m surprised there isn’t even more. I know they want to keep the airplanes safe, but anyone with half a brain knows there are better ways. That’s my point here. Is while they are doing their jobs, it is so insane how they do it. I cannot imagine being a lady and having my life exposed at the airport like that. Nobody should really have to deal with that shit without a single explanation. It was eye opening. And I still don’t know why in the fuck that dog sniffed me. What was on me? Is it still on me? Is this going to happen again? How do they not tell me? Just a really, really insane experience. I hope nobody else has to deal with that shit. If I was a brown person I’d legit never step foot in an airport ever. Not worth it.