In a Genius Move, Playboy Will No Longer Feature Pictures Of Naked Women

Playboy - As you may have heard, Playboy is going to be non-nude starting with the March 2016 issue, which actually comes out in the month of February, because that’s how magazines roll. This means the models, celebrities and, yes, Playmates will not be naked for the first time since our founder Hugh Hefner laid out the first issue in 1953. The question everyone will likely be asking is, “Why?” Playboy has been a friend to nudity, and nudity has been a friend to Playboy, for decades. The short answer is: times change. Last year we re-launched Playboy.com as a safe-for-work site and discovered something about our readers and our identity: The Bunny transcends nudity. Tens of millions of readers come to our non-nude website and app every month for, yes, photos of beautiful women, but also for articles and videos from our humor, sex and culture, style, nightlife, entertainment and video game sections. We are, and always have been, “entertainment for men” – with award-winning journalism and fiction to boot. Playboy is a cultural arbiter of beauty, taste, opinion, humor and style.

Genius. Probably the smartest thing I’ve ever heard. I think we can all agree- There is no need to sell naked pictures of women anymore. Yea, looking at a Playboy when you were in 7th grade was awesome. But like everything, eventually you need more. And quick. If there was a picture of some girl in Playboy and a picture of a new item from Taco Bell, I know which one I’d genuinely be more excited about. Unless your main demographic is Nookie Chat guy from the AVN awards who was unaware the Internet had free porn, selling pictures of naked women is a dead idea.

I hope Playboy doesn’t completelyyyyy shy away from naked pics. It was always fun when random celebrities/has-beens would try to revitalize their careers by posing nude. We still need that here and there. But with the invention of the Internet, being a magazine that sells porn is a recipe for bankruptcy. They can’t be sold with the rest of the magazines, it has that plastic wrapping on it. Now, they are free from the shackles of the titties.

Of course it sucks that there’s no room random sloots posing nude. Settling for Instagram whores who are forced to wear bikinis kinda sucks. But it was time for Playboy to move on. Maybe they’ll become the next big thing in investagatory journalism. Maybe people will actually start reading the articles and be like “wait, they were good the whole time? I thought that was a joke!” So while the 13 year old boys, 75 year old men, people with AOL email addresses, and retarded Nookie Chat enthusiasts of the world will be quite upset, the rest of us who haven’t even seen a Playboy Magazine in 15 years should pour one out tonight, thank based Hugh Hefner for all he has done for the world, and get right back onto RedTube.