This Insane Person Reached The Insane Speed of 94.34 MPH Going Downhill on a Skateboard

There are so many bullshit world records out there. There are also a lot of bullshit Red Bull "extreme athlete" events. Most of them are impressive, but sometimes you'll see a guy doing whatever on the world's tallest bridge or whatever, only to find out he was in a safety harness the whole time. I'll never forget when ABC made a huge deal about Nik Wallenda walking a tightrope LIVE over Niagara Falls, and when it finally came time for the show, the dude was in a harness. There was zero risk involved. Which wasn't Nik Wallenda's fault. He didn't want to wear the harness. ABC just wanted to have their cake and eat it too. They knew the only reason people were so interested in their event was the possibility of witnessing an on-screen death. 

To be fair to ABC, Nik's great-grandfather Karl Wallenda did, in fact, die crossing a tightrope on live television. But like... that's kind of the whole point. Nik was avenging his great-grandfather's failure. That was all a part of the bill of goods ABC sold us before pulling the rug out from underneath us. Or in this case, I suppose it was more like putting the rug back underneath him. The rug of... safety. 

However, when I see one of these extreme sports guys break a record worth celebrating, I will give him his flowers. Skateboarding downhill at 94.34 MPH is insane. Have you ever been out of control, plummeting down a hill on wheels of any sort? It's terrifying. Your only choice is to bail, suffer severe road rash (and probably break a few bones), or force yourself to commit and pray to god there's a stop sign at the intersection below. 

You don't even have to be on wheels. Or on pavement. Have you ever seen the cheese run? Simply running down a grassy hill has claimed countless victims. 

Not only was Spanish skateboarder Diego Poncelet barreling down the road at well over the legal speed limit, but he also had a fucking car driving the same speed, no more than a few feet behind him. 

I guess the car has brakes, so he must not be at THAT great a risk of being run over. But it does add to the absurdity of the visual. I wonder what exactly would happen if he wiped out at top speed. The track is sloped downhill enough that the impact shouldn't be too terribly devastating. He must have one of those suits they use on Olympic skiers that expand with air when you fall, but I watched Lindsey Vonn be airlifted off a mountain after wiping out at a speed more than 20 MPH slower. I suppose she already had a torn ACL, but falling on snow is also very different from falling on pavement. 

My hypothesis is that it would hurt. There are a lot of daredevils in the world who do extreme things, but downhill skateboarding as fast as humanly possible has to be up there with the craziest. Diego Poncelet is no Alex Honnold. But he's closer than most.