There's a New Neck in Town – LSU Basketball Finally Has a Roster of 10 Players, Featuring a 7-Footer With The Widest Neck You'll See Today

Remember when the neck boys took over social media? I can't even remember what year that was. I'm guessing it was before covid, but I can't remember for sure. The timelines of viral internet creatures all blend together. It was a wide neck black guy, and a skinny neck white kid. They teamed up for a rap song at one point – 'Neckst Up' by Daddy Long Neck (feat. Wide Neck). This was before Wide Neck got arrested for stalking.

That was years ago. The neck boys are long gone. Without looking it up, I wouldn't bet $100 that both are still alive. 

Today, there's a new neck in town. His name is Strake Pearson. He's 7-foot tall. He's a freshman in college. He plays basketball for the LSU Tigers. 

Had you shown me that headshot and asked me to guess Strake Pearson's height, I'd have said he was no more than 6-foot flat. But I wouldn't have been more wrong. Strake Pearson is a big man. He played at IMG Academy. And until someone can prove me wrong, he has the most… interesting build in college basketball.

I don't want to be mean to the kid or anything. I don't know what causes a man's neck to grow at such a width. I suppose when you're 7-foot tall, there's a lot of… body… body that grows in different ways. But from the highlights I've watched, he's more than just a 7-foot-tall pylon to park under the rim. I mean… that's mostly what he is. But Strake can move a little bit. He can pass. Strake Pearson can play some ball.

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Any 7-footer who can move laterally even a little should be able to find their way onto a D1 basketball roster. Considering LSU had a grand total of 4 players no more than a week ago, maybe LSU wasn't the most difficult roster to make. But Strake Pearson and his wide ass neck are about to play SEC basketball. That's more than most basketball players can achieve. So good for him.

Also, I can't decide if a man with a wide neck playing for LSU is best case, or wost case scenario for his brand. LSU's band is famous for playing 'Neck'. 

At any other school (say Strake Pearson went to Ohio State), if you Googled "Ohio State neck", Strake Pearson would be the first result. But searching "LSU neck" takes you straight to the band. LSU is the only school that Strake Pearson won't have the most famous "neck" in town.

On the other hand, if Strake Pearson is ballin', and LSU's band plays Neck right after Strake's 7-foot ass dunks on three defenders… that's pretty cool too. He'll be the neck guy at the Neck school. He could be a legend.

Let the band play Neck. Let Strake Pearson play basketball. Louisiana is a weird place.