Ohio Blogger Stands Trial, Faces 6 Months in Jail For Sending Picture of Shrek's Dick to State Senator

Once again, the courts are tasked with answering a question of free speech – "Is assaulting a state senator with Shrek's dick (picture) protected by the First Amendment?"

In the red corner, we have 74-year-old Republican Jerry Cirino. A retired medical device company executive turned Ohio State Senator of the 18th district. 

In the green corner, we have Ohio-based blogger D.J. Byrnes of the political website, The Rooster. From what I can tell, D.J. Byrnes is their sole employee. D.J. Byrnes is The Rooster

D.J. Byrnes – NOT to be confused with former N.C. State big man D.J. Burns, who famously led the 11-seed Wolfpack on a Cinderella run to the Final Four in 2024.

The D.J. Byrnes who's in the news today is coming off a day in jail. He currently stands trial, where he's being charged with telecommunications harassment. If found guilty, meaning the prosecution can prove intent to "harass, intimidate, or abuse", he could spend up to 6 months in jail.

What exactly did D.J. Bynes do? You saw the blog title. Not sure why I'm beating around the big green ogre's bush here. D.J. Byrnes texted Shrek's dick to Sen. Jerry Cirino's phone.

You know what they say about political bloggers? I don't, but I'm confident they're nuts. You've gotta nuts to be a political blogger. I go nuts with all the politics shoved in my face by the internet on a daily basis, and I actively try to avoid them. I have every political/political adjacent word I can think of muted on every social media platform, yet politics still finds a way. To make politics your whole thing… it takes a special breed of person. 

But I guess credit to D.J. Byrnes. Whether you think he's a pervert, a big pervert, or just a little bit of a pervert, he did get Sen. Jerry Cirinio to give him exactly what he wanted. He dragged him into the mud swamp. He got the Ohio State Senator to take him to court over Shrek's hard green cock. 

To be honest, Mr. Byrnes… I know this is exactly what you wanted… but I'm not sure the juice is worth the squeeze on this one. I'm afraid you risk ending up back in a jail cell for something that amounts to little more than a Barstool Sports blog. From what I'm reading about what constitutes telecommunications harassment in the state of Ohio, it's defined as "using a phone, computer, or other electronic device to knowingly abuse, threaten, intimidate, or harass another person."

Personally, I wouldn't think Mr. Byrnes' Shrek dick texts constitute abuse, threats, or intimidation. But harassment? Hmmm… idk D.J… let's review the texts one more time. 

Now, when I first read this headline, I had only assumed Byrnes had sent Cirino a whole mess of Shrek dicks. That Cirino was being bombarded with dick after dick after dick after dick after dick. But that's not the case. What you see in the screenshot is all that was sent. Here's what D.J. Byrnes lawyers had to say.

People – Byrnes’s attorneys argued in their motion that the complaint should be dismissed on First Amendment grounds.

“This case does not involve repeated telephone calls to a private citizen. It does not involve threats, extortion, stalking, soliciting sex, or attempts to invade another person’s privacy,” reads the motion, which categorizes Byrnes’ communications as standard reporting procedure.

“The prosecution therefore burdens not only Byrnes’s right to speak, but also the freedom of the press to gather information, criticize public officials, and communicate with sources and subjects of reporting,” it continued.

Had D.J. Byrnes sent repeated Shrek dicks, I might think it qualifies as harassment. But those texts were short(ish), sweet(ish), and to the point(ish). It was only one Shrek dick, and over 50% of the Shrek dick was covered/grasped by Shrek's mighty hand. If Jerry Cirino was blocking numbers left and right, but Shrek dicks kept cumming in from all area codes, that might be harassment. But can it really be considered harassment if all he had to do to make it stop was block the number? I don't think the words in those texts were especially damaging. I don't think Jerry Cirino was losing sleep over it, or at any point Shrek breaking into his home and… fucking him. If those few texts, and that one single Shrek dick, get a man 6 months in jail, it seems a little extreme. 

Seems to me Sen. Jerry Cirino made his point, which is, "Yes, I do have nothing better to do with my time than take a blogger to court over Shrek's dick."

Conversely, D.J. Byrnes got his 15 minutes of fame (and a little boost in traffic on roosters.com. All's well that ends well. Maybe just acquit the guy and move on with your lives. Honestly, at this point, sending him to jail is probably what he wants

The trial is currently ongoing. I'll update with the verdict once it is in.