Dumping Them Out - Come For The GIFs, Stay For The GIFs (Also There's Football)
Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. Happy campaign ad football season to those who celebrate. Personally, I fucking hate it. Although it was making me laugh yesterday. The attack ads are darker than ever. It's absurd that you'll just be sitting on your couch enjoying some football and all of a sudden, in the most ominous voice ever, it's, "HERE IS EVERYTHING IN OUR COUNTRY THAT SUCKS AND IT'S ALL HAPPENING NOW" – Because that's all those ads are anymore. Just a scary voice listing off things that suck. It's the ultimate vibes killer, and it happens every 10 minutes whether you like it or not.
I know Jeremiah Smith is overshadowing all wide receivers in college football by being the best wide receiver to ever receive footballs. However, there's a new true freshman receiver who might already be my favorite player in the nation (non-my-own-teams category). Whereas Jeremiah Smith is a 6-4, 225-pound monster of a human who moves in a way that should not be legal for his size, Jesse Legree at Oregon State is half a foot shorter, 50 pounds lighter, and is putting up numbers that dwarf Jeremiah Smith's first 5 games as a true freshman.
That play right there might be my favorite play in football. When a receiver is so much better and faster than the other team that he catches a drag route a yard past the line of scrimmage, turns the corner, and runs by the entire defense for 50+ yards. Odell Beckham used to do that shit. It rocked. And Jesse Legree might be even better.
Love that player. Congratulations to Jesse Legree on the bag of $5M that Lane Kiffin has probably already had sent to his dorm.
I was watching a game yesterday; I forget which one, but the refs were reviewing a fumble. Actually, it was the Mississippi State-Alabama game. I wrote a blog about this very play for an entirely different reason. This Mississippi State lineman got his helmet knocked off, then somehow teleported through a double team, met the running back at the line, then stripped the football for a turnover.
It was called a fumble on the field, but they reviewed it. The refs must have taken 10 full minutes to come to a conclusion. In the end, they let the play stand. Which made me think there should be a timer on video reviews. Because if the refs need more than 5 minutes to determine the result of a play, it's pretty clearly inconclusive, right? It almost has to be by definition. They should make that rule. It would speed games along.
Does anybody else think that kick returners shouldn't be able to exploit the kick out-of-bounds rule in this way?
Very high IQ play indeed, as long as it's in the rulebook. But also… fuck you, man. The kicker just hit the perfect kick. If his kickoff isn't going out of bounds on its own, I don't think the kicker should be able to be punished by it.
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I know the AP poll barely matters at all. Technically it matters zero, but you know the playoff poll voters reference it. There were some wild moves in this week's AP poll, though.
Kentucky was ranked 24th, won on the road in South Carolina (who isn't great, but they still fucking won), and Kentucky dropped out of the rankings entirely. Iowa lost by 17 to Ohio State and dropped 6 spots, which makes sense. But conversely, Mississippi State loses by 33 to Alabama and only drops 1. And how the hell do you not rank Northwestern? They're obviously rewarding teams for close losses, and they took Indiana down to the wire on the road. Then they steamrolled Colorado and Penn State. Stupid ass poll.
My Big Dummy of the Week Award this week was a tie between two coaches from the state of Colorado. The Colorado State DC who got himself fired mid-game.
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That must be pretty satisfying as a football fan. I mean… I'm sure it sucks that Colorado State sucks. But think of all the times people say, "Fire this fucking defensive coordinator at halftime!" Imagine saying that, and it actually happens. That would rule. The fired Colorado State DC ties with the Colorado Buffaloes coach who left his playbook behind at the hotel bar.
That irresponsible coach was so close to accidentally becoming a legend. If only Colorado had a change of heart and pivoted away from their script, everybody would be applauding him for pulling a classic Mike Leach.
And shoutout to my alma mater Bowling Green State University for winning their first football game at Miami (OH) this weekend, and for breaking out the best jerseys in college hockey on Saturday night at home against #2 Michigan.
I've been seeing that Bowling Green Falcons logo when I search "bowling green falcons logo" on Google images my whole life. I've always loved it, but not once have I seen it used on anything other than sweatshirts in the bookstore. But the hockey team finally did it. The took the #2 Michigan Wolverines down the wire that night too. Had a tie game going late in the third. Then Michigan won 4-3. But it was a hell of a moral victory.
