When You're in Search of a Woman, There's Certain Criteria Every Man Needs To Consider...
Bojan89. Getty Images.If like me, and my good friend and local dating expert, "Crazy Old Man Pappas", you find yourself on the other side of 60, living alone, and in search of a companion, there's certain criteria you need to consider when attempting to find the right woman.
Some men would agree that health and fitness are definitely a top priority. You wouldn't want to buy a used car in need of major work. Not that women are comparable to used cars, it's just a metaphor, but you get the idea.
Some older men have remained slaves to good looks and hygiene. We're old, but we still strongly desire good looking women. Given a choice, most older men would still choose the good looking woman over the not so good looking woman. Some good T&A is a plus. Shallow Hal? Maybe.
Attitude and personality are a top priorities as well, but after hours of digging into the subject with the man himself, both me and Crazy Old Man Pappas have come to realize one unique female characteristic that brings most older men to their knees, makes women irresistible, and prevents wandering eyes, and that's the woman's ability to make a tasty meatloaf!
That's right. The way to an older man's heart has less to do with looks, personality, and health than it does with her ability to make a good old fashioned meatloaf!
I make a lot of stuff for myself, but I haven't taken the next step in cooking and decided to make myself a meatloaf. And there are many reasons why I haven't. For one, it requires multiple ingredients, preparation, and overall cooking skills, and I'm not there yet.
Crazy Old Man Pappas' woman makes meatloaf. Incredible fucking meatloaf! She prepares it, cooks it, lets it cool, and puts good size portions in plastic containers and sends him home with a week's worth of meatloaf.
He has a freezer in his basement, and it's stocked with meatloaf. Whenever he's in the mood, he walks downstairs, casually grabs a container, heats up a portion, and with every savory bite he's thinking about his woman. Kudos to her for understanding men and how to keep 'em interested and coming back for more.
She doesn't have to go to the gym 5 days a week, do her make-up meticulously, or buy fancy clothes. She just keeps pumpin' out the meatloaf and Crazy Old Man Pappas only has eyes for her!
While Crazy Old Man Pappas struts around, his belly is full of tasty meatloaf, I remain insecure and vulnerable, a victim of "meatloaf deprivation".
Although I could get off my ass, find a recipe online, pick up the ingredients, and make myself a meatloaf, it wouldn't be the same. It would be meatloaf masturbation, because in order for a meatloaf to have the optimum effect on a man, it has to be prepared by the loving hands of a woman. If you know, you know…
Because of the sheer amount of meatloaf he's consumed, Crazy Old Man Pappas has become a fucking legend!
You men eat your dinner
Eat your pork and beans
Crazy Old Man Pappas eats more meatloaf
Than any man ever seen…