Ohio State Just Had The Biggest Choke Job Of My Entire Life, And Now I Need To Spend 24 Hours In A McDonalds

Well, I'm still here. For now. (That's a punishment joke, not a jump off my balcony joke, simply because it's only 3 stories and I'd probably just break my legs and back, but not die)

Let's cut right to the point: that was the worst choke job I've ever been a part of in my entire life. Up 23-3 in the 4th quarter. Lost 24-23. And the worst part? I can't even sit here and be like, well Texas was good! They turned the ball over twice on their first 5 plays. They dropped 100 passes. They were down 3 scores at the half. And they still beat us.

And now I'm off to McDonald's on Monday to sit in the dining room for 24 hours....

Look, I'll survive this one. It really sucks that I've lost like 25 pounds and have been exercising and watching what I eat, especially with my engagement photos coming up. And now that's all going down the drain after I eat somewhere between 8-12 Big Macs in one day. And even worse than that? There looks like there's about 6 more games on this schedule that could go poorly if the Buckeyes don't play well. This could be a long season....

Final Note: It's not his fault, but holy fuck I thought we finally had a kicker. Until the biggest moment of the game, to ice it....he choked just like the last one.

At least I didn't tweet this when he was 3 for 3….

I'm going to get Old Takes Exposed into oblivion tonight. 

Hug your loved ones. It's just a game, right?