I Need a Sign to Let Me Know You're Here...

As a kid, I always went looking for things that were hard to find. Like four-leaf clovers, praying mantises, Monarch Butterflies, bright red Cardinals, and rainbows. I knew enough not to go looking for unicorns or the creature known as Bigfoot…

I still haven't found a four-leaf clover, but I’ve seen several praying mantises, Monarch Butterflies, Cardinals, and many spectacular rainbows. Every time I saw a rainbow, I'd get Susan if she was around, and if not, I'd take a picture of it and send it to her. I was always mesmerized by rainbows, and she knew it.

It was Christmas 2025, my first without Susan, and I was on the phone with a friend who also lost his wife, talking about how much we missed them. Suddenly, a rainbow appeared on my kitchen floor, near the cabinets, on the far side of the room. I had never seen a rainbow inside the house before.

I looked around for its origin and determined it was coming from the bay window in the dining room, more specifically, a glass angel ornament hanging off the mini Christmas tree that’s been in the seat of that window for three months every Christmas since 1989. The ornament had suddenly become a prism, one capable of casting a perfectly formed rainbow on the floor eighteen feet away.

I called my friend Laura, who, in addition to her many talents, is a spiritualist and medium, and she confirmed it was definitely a sign from Susan that she was okay. Later I saw another rainbow on the kitchen ceiling. Laura has contacted Susan more than once, and when she asked Susan to say one thing that would let me know it was her, Susan said, “Get a haircut!”

I started going to her hairdresser several years ago, and when Susan was hospitalized and couldn't get her hair done, I didn’t think it was right to show up with a salon cut, so I started cutting my own hair with an electric razor meant for mustaches, beards, and sideburns. I didn’t think it looked too bad, but Susan did, and even confined to a hospital bed, she hounded me to get a real haircut. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Besides, I didn't want to miss out on any time with her. I knew how precious it was…

When Laura told me that Susan told her to tell me to “Get a haircut,” it was a no-brainer. I knew it was Susan. That was the end of May.

I called Debbie, our hairdresser, in early June to set up an appointment. A week later, I went in for a professional haircut, like Susan wanted. On the way out, suddenly a beautiful rainbow appeared on the face of the tall portion of the reception desk. 

At first, the colors were so brilliant I thought it was hand-painted decor, but when I asked Debbie, she said it wasn't. Sunlight was pouring through the salon's glass front door, turning it into a prism. Nobody working in the salon had ever seen a rainbow there before. I knew the rainbow was Susan's way of acknowledging how happy she was that I listened to her and finally got a real haircut.

Before Susan passed, she urged me to stay close to our three boys and our grandson. Sounds easy, but after Susan passed, there was some family tension that, unfortunately, prevented that from happening. I was told by my therapist that it's not unusual.

Dylan invited me to his house on September 5th to celebrate Susan’s birthday with him, Lexi, Nick (my middle son), and Jasper (my grandson). I wasn’t sure about going until I remembered what Susan said about staying close to the boys after she was gone. I planned to stay home and wash Susan's car, as I always did on her birthday, but I decided it could wait and I could go to the cookout.

Dylan grilled some cheeseburgers, Kielbasa, and garden-fresh zucchini. Nick made Susan's special Taco salad. For dessert, we had healthy slices of Linda's Fudge Cake, Susan's favorite. It was a great day, and I know Susan would've been very happy seeing us all together and getting along.

On Monday, Labor Day, I decided to wash Susan's car, which has become my daily driver. I sold my truck last year. 

First, I got up on a step stool and scrubbed the moonroof thoroughly. Then, using spray-on wheel cleaner, I cleaned the wheels. While I was washing Susan's car, I talked with her like I sometimes do. I was reminiscing about washing her car on Mother's Day and her Birthday. My neighbors might think I'm crazy, and maybe I am, but when I talk to Susan, I absolutely believe she's listening.

Just as I finished rinsing the soap off the last rear quarter, I felt a little rain spit, a brief sun shower, looked up, and saw an incredible rainbow in the sky. And then, in the blink of an eye, it became a double rainbow (the one pictured above), the largest I'd ever seen in person, and I've been chasing rainbows my entire life.

I didn't have to call Laura on this one; I knew it was Susan's work. She was happy we all got together on her birthday, had a great time, and that I maintained the tradition and washed her car. The double rainbow was her gift to me.

Everyone can believe what they want, but for me, when that double rainbow suddenly appeared, I knew it was a sign from Susan that she was happy and there with me… 

Calling all angels…