UPDATE: Tiger Woods Has Now Been Arrested For A DUI After His Car Crash Today

And we have the update

What the hell, man? It's 2pm. You're worth hundreds of millions of dollars just get someone to drive you. We were dreaming of a return to the Masters. We just saw you hit perfect shots and for sure not miss any short putts at TGL. Now we got DUI, property damage, refused to submit to a lawful test and a car crash? On a Friday nonetheless! Just pay someone a million dollars a year to be your driver, today is the day where people can have a salary change their lives. This is another chance for that. 

I love watching Tiger golf. I hate this part of Tiger. I don't care about him having sex or that weird press conference back in the day. We all gotta be focused on Bosco vs Dave tonight and Pitino getting revenge on Duke. Now we gotta watch police press conferences and hearing him getting arrested. Again, it's Friday afternoon. Can't be getting arrested on a Friday afternoon. We all need to start offering to be Tiger's driver. We can take it in shifts, we can do it as side jobs. The guy is worth too much money to not have a crew of drivers waiting on him at all times. 

So, yeah, now we wait 8 hours when he can get out of jail

Brutal man.