Here are the two hottest things to come out of Brazil.
Even though I have never been there, I happen to know a LOT about Brazil.
First off, Brazil is very big.
Giphy Images.- It's the 5th largest country by total area behind only the traditional big boys of Russia, Canada, China, and the US.
- It's bigger than Australia, and it’s nearly triple the size in land mass of places like India, Mexico, or soon-to-be-conquered Greenland.
- The easternmost point of Brazil is closer to Africa than it is to the westernmost point of Brazil.
- Similarly, Brazil’s northernmost point is closer to Canada than its southernmost point.
Secondly, they love futbol.
IAN KINGTON. Getty Images.- Brazil houses over 1,000 soccer stadiums (the most in the world).
- They are the only country to qualify for every World Cup since it began in 1930.
- They have the most World Cup championships with 5.
They also have more gold medals than anyone else in Beach Volleyball… Which is the only Olympic sport I watch… Normally, in a dark room with the sound off.
Sean M. Haffey. Getty Images.Brazil is the country hit by lightning most often in the world, with an average of 77 million lightning strikes a year.
MAURO PIMENTEL. Getty Images.(Remember, kids: Every time you masturbate, Brazilian Jesus gets hit by lightning.)
Brazil is the largest coffee exporter in the world… 1 out of every 3 cups of coffee consumed globally comes from Brazil.
And they are at the forefront of pussy-shaving technology, with their Brazilian wax services.
PABLO PORCIUNCULA. Getty Images.But none of those facts are important.
There are only two things in this blog I'd like you to remember about the Federative Republic of Brazil, and the first one is a young lady named Bru Luccas…
Bru has been on this site twice before… Malcolm Smutler wrote about her in 2021 and 2022, but since then?… NOTHING.
So I am bringing her back, even though I know ZERO about her.
Whenever I am highlighting a young stunner like Bru, I rely on GIFs.
I feel like seeing a GIF is so much more inviting than clicking a link, even if the GIF is not as attractive as the subject's link to her REELS or TikToks…
The production quality of GIFs is never very good…
But they are still clear enough to appreciate a seatbelt covering up what I assume is a perfect nipple…
But, as much as I love GIFs…
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… I implore you to become one of the THREE MILLION people who regularly watch Bru shake her shit on Instagram…
Soooooooo… Bru Lucas is the first thing about Brazil that I want you to know.
Equally as important, the second thing I need you to know about Brazil is that the latest episode of Twisted History is all about this fucking big beautiful part of the world…
So do yourself a favor and take a deep dive into Bru's content, BUT BEFORE YOU SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT, give yourself a little break and learn everything you need to know about a country that has produced some of the most beautiful women in the history of the world.
Take a report.
-Large
And if all this talk of bald vaginas has you feeling peckish, I sat down with The Grill Guy last week on YOU GOTTA TRY THIS…
TAR
-L