Hot Take Artist Paul Finebaum Thinks The Indiana Hoosiers Are Big Dumb Idiots For Extending Curt Cignetti

There's something about college football man... I don't know what it is... but it brings out truly insane levels of "passion" in people. Unhealthy levels of passion. Borderline dangerous levels. Just take a look at Brandon Walker's Twitter replies on a Saturday evening. It's one of the angrier places you'll find on the internet. 

To the people who call Brandon Walker a big dumb hillbilly fuck because he says your undefeated team's wins aren't quality enough for him (on the same day the cream of the crop in the SEC went wire-to-wire with Washington State)... I honestly kinda get that impulse. For the most part, I'll catch myself and realize how absolutely insane I'm being before I get too worked up over a harmless college football opinion. But boy, oh boy, is there's something about watching Paul Finebaum's smug face say, "I dOn'T tHinK it'S sMarT to gUarAntee a cOacH $100M evEn if hE's FiRed" that makes me wish an anvil would fall through the ceiling of his studio and crush him like Wile E. Coyote. 

Of course it's not "smart" or "responsible" to give ANY human being that much guaranteed money. Not before completing any of the work you're paying him for. With no guarantee (or any real reason at all) for him to do it. It's certifiably insane. Indiana is putting a crazy amount of trust in Curt Cignetti. But god damn it, Paul! Have you not been covering college football since the Cuban Missile Crisis? Specifically the SEC, where paying coaches preposterous amounts of guaranteed money in order to get them to your school is the norm? Are you still completely oblivious to how college football works? If Indiana didn't give Curt Cignetti that money, someone else would have. You must understand that by now. 

By the way, if Florida had given Curt Cignetti this money, Paul Finebaum would be doing the lambada on Indiana's grave because the big bad SEC got "the best coach in America", and put the little ol' Hoosiers in their place.

And no shit Curt Cignetti would never leave Indiana in the midst of a playoff run. But if Indiana didn't do what they did yesterday… if they hadn't made Curt Cignetti the 3rd highest paid coach in college football…

If Curt Cignetti hadn't taken the podium to say, "I plan on retiring as a Hoosier…"

Then the conversation surrounding Cignetti to Penn State continues to grow. By the end of this week, the Florida job opens up. With each passing day, Curt Cignetti receives more and more phone calls. The longer Indiana waits, the more, "Will Curt Cignetti leave for __?" becomes a distraction. But Indiana nipped that right in the bud.

What did you think was going to happen, Paul? Indiana loses a couple bad games this year in the back half of their schedule, and Hoosier fans decide, "You know what… maybe Curt Cignetti isn't our guy after all. Maybe it's not worth an extra few million dollars per year to keep him around. Penn State can have him. We're gonna give Fran Brown a shot."

That's insane. Curt Cignetti is so obviously Indiana's guy. The administration thrilled for the opportunity to throw money at his feet. Is Paul Finebaum under the impression that Indiana is strapped for cash? That this contract extension must be a devastating blow to the university as a whole? That if Cignetti doesn't pan out, Indiana University will be in financial distress? Does he think since Indiana isn't SEC, they couldn't possibly have money to blow on football like that? Well bad news, Paul. Not all schools mortgage their futures for a 5-star recruiting class. That's mostly just the SEC. There's about 20 schools across the country who could cut a check and airlift Bryant-Denny Stadium (along with all of Alabama's football facilities), right out of Tuscaloosa, and drop them outside their campus in… say… Cambridge, Massachusetts. Northwestern could be your worst nightmare if they felt like it. If Andrew Luck gets the green light, Stanford could have the SEC's 1st, 2nd, and 3rd team all-conference starters in Palo Alto by the time bowl season starts.

Indiana has plenty of money. They're only now deciding to spend it on football. Indiana is taking a $100M flier on a coach who's done more for their school than any Hoosier fan could have dreamed. Curt Cignetti is obviously Indiana's #1 (and only) choice. Nothing was going to change that. They have the money, so they gave it to him. Simple as that. Anybody who thinks Indiana should have done anything differently either has no clue what they're talking about, or simply aspires to be the Skip Bayless of college football. 

I assume Paul Finebaum is the latter. Which I suppose means I just fell right into his stupid hot take artist's trap. Oh well. I enjoyed letting myself get mad about Paul Finebaum for a bit. It was almost therapeutic. I can see why people call into his show.