What Should We Expect From Old Man Bosco On The Spring Break House?

About a week ago, Dave sent out an email saying we’d be doing a Spring Break House and to let him know if we were in. Me, not really having much to my name here besides the Beach House, it was a no-brainer, I’m all in.

Now, I highly doubt 40-something-year-old Rico was quick to RSVP. But when Dave says you’re doing it, you’re doing it. I was a little bummed to hear Spring Break House won’t be the same format as Summer House, but I was fired up to see my name listed with Katic and Ella as the only returning cast members so far.

That leaves one big question, what should we expect from Rico Bosco?

I like Rico. He’s great in the office. But what’s he going to be like on day three of a seven day bender? I doubt he’ll be our “Unc” like Dante was- he’s an old geezer with an endless gas tank who somehow owns every nightclub in Chicago. But last time I checked, Rico doesn’t own clubs, and he’s not exactly out chasing women. Probably has something to do with being married with kids.

Still, I’d be stupid to count out another elderly man before seeing him in action.

If this show ends up being some kind of mini “Surviving Barstool”, I can totally see him being the ultimate villain or the ultimate simp (sorry, but you slobbered Dave’s dick on Surviving). It really depends on the cast.

But if it’s structured more like Beach House, where we’re just getting after it and taking each other’s heads off, I can see two versions of Rico: Option A, Off the meds, absolute gremlin mode. Option B, a man quietly questioning if he’ll still have a wife when he gets home.

Selfishly, I’d love to see Rico on steroids, getting absolutely yoked and ready to burn the city down. I can picture it now, roided-out Bosco in a wife beater, foaming at the mouth in a Vegas casino, screaming at a college basketball game on the TV.

But how many clips of that until people start demanding more? Because once Dave inevitably pokes the bear, a juiced up, off the meds Bosco could be pure cinema.

Unfortunately, reality will probably win, he’s got a beautiful family to go home to. So honestly, I have no idea what to expect from him.

And that might be the best part.