There Was Nothing Better Than Being Her DH

Here’s the truth no girl will admit but every guy already knows: every girl’s got a Designated Hitter on her roster. Yeah, a DH. The dude whose sole job is to lay pipe and go home. He doesn’t do dinners. He doesn’t go on walks through the park. He doesn’t post couple selfies. He just walks up to the plate and swings his bat. 

And honestly, respect to the DH. He knows his role. He’s not out here pretending he’s the franchise player. He doesn’t need to meet her parents, he doesn’t have to listen to her talk about how annoying her co-workers are. He just shows up, takes his swings, and heads back to the dugout. No stress. No strings. Just pipe.

The funniest part? The DH is never the best player. He’s not the star shortstop. He’s not the guy with millions of IG followers. He might not even be employable. But for some reason, he’s always in the lineup when it’s time to score. Best part is he doesn’t even have to go yard every time he’s just gotta get on base.

Girls will sit there with a straight face and deny this too. “Nooo, I don’t have a guy like that.” Shut up. Every single one of you has a dude who’s basically DoorDash dick. You don’t want him all the time, but when the clock strikes 1:45 a.m. and your main roster’s asleep, you’re glad you can call in the pinch hitter. And that’s ok because guys have DH’s too. But as long as the DH knows his role and doesn’t ask too many questions it’s a beautiful aspect to the sport. Don’t ask for more playing time just enjoy your AB’s. 

So yeah, every girl has a DH. Doesn’t matter if she’s single, talking to five dudes, or in a “serious relationship.” There’s always that one guy in the cage, keeping the bat warm. And he’ll be there until the day she decides to retire his number.