There Comes A Time In Every Man's Life When You Need To Decide If You're Going To Be The Old Dude Who Walks In The Gym Locker Room Butt Ass Naked
FG Trade. Getty Images.Before we get going here, I understand this isn't some new, groundbreaking discussion. People have been talking about old dudes hanging out butt ass naked in gym locker rooms for decades now. But what that means is that at some point 30 years ago, there was probably some 33-year-old dude talking to his friends about how weird it is that old dudes hang out in the locker room with their cock and balls flapping around for all to see. And now here we are 30 years later, and he's a 63-year-old man who has his nuts and ass cheeks out on full display with his leg perched up on one of the benches, without a goddamn care in the world.
At some point, the switch flipped and he turned into one of the old dudes who hang dong in the sauna, leaving a trail of literal ball sweat everywhere he goes. And it's fascinating to me because it can't be something that happens accidentally.
You need to make the conscious decision to become a naked old dude in the gym locker room. And it surely cannot be a decision that you make lightly. It's not one of those spur-of-the-moment type of things where one day you just make the choice to put your flappy meat out on display. Perhaps it happens gradually over time, but the final decision to really let it rip has to be one of the most pivotal moments in a man's life. It's at that moment that you truly say fuck it and stop giving a shit.
The thing that's really intriguing is that it's only a certain brand of old dude who ever achieves this ability to not give a damn about having their hog out in the locker room. Like it's never going to be some massively obese old dude spending an hour in the locker room going full frontal. But it's also never going to be the old dudes who have managed to stay in exceptional shape their whole life. It's that middle ground physique that really leans into the pecker parade. The kind where you know if you were to hit them with the leaf blower, they'd end up looking like a flying squirrel.
And maybe that's it. Maybe that's the key. All those old dudes sort of blend together. And maybe that's why they're so comfortable rocking out with their cock out. They don't stand out from the crowd, so they can just blend in with every other old dude who feels the need to let that taint breathe.
Perhaps one day I'll learn the answer. Perhaps one day I'll make that decision myself. But until then, it'll remain a mystery.