Watch: Joey Chestnut Attempts The "Eat A Hot Dog + Do A 100m Dash" Hypothetical, But Against The World's Worst Gambler Instead Of Usain Bolt
This random hypothetical was rolling around the internet a few weeks ago and it seemed like the general consensus was, Joey Chestnut would win that race with ease. For anyone who thinks that's insane when he'd be racing against USAIN BOLT, the fastest man alive, I hear you.
But lest we forget, Chestnut can down a dog in about 1 second flat. Possibly faster than that if he knows it's the only solitary stick of meat he has to shove down his gullet. Meanwhile us mere mortals would probably take around 15-30 seconds before we're even sprinting down the line. That's a tall hill to climb, even for a world class athlete like Mr. Bolt.
Advertisement
Love seeing the Stoolies get scientific! And all fair points made there. The metrics do seem to favor a Chestnut W but it's also such a random ass question that maybe anything is possible with a professional sprinter like Bolt involved.
Unfortunately Barstool is still waiting on the permits to be approved for our Jamaican office. Of course most of the Phoenix HQ branch will be getting transferred when they do. But until that opens we don't have any real pull to get Usain involved with this race. We do have Marty Mush though. And in this case, that's enough for a solid experiment.
One little wrinkle... They're eating (1) KIELBASA instead of a hot dog. Bah gawd King!
Advertisement
Even though Mush has had a lot of success against pro athletes in his "Marty VS." series, I don't think anyone would've picked him to beat Joey Jaws. But it's still a great test case for digging deeper into this hypothetical.
Granted the giant kielbasa instead of small frank changes up the math a bit, but now that you've seen Chestnut run move as fast as he possibly can… Does your prediction change at all? If Usain could chomp down in 15-20 seconds I think he could very well run away with the title of "Random Ass Question From The PGA Account Champion"
I would like to see the tables turned a bit next time and give Mr. Jaws the adjusted odds he's earned over an incredible competitive eating career. Could he repeat that victory eating 3 kielbasas to Marty's 1? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Do horses wear horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?
Anyway check out Joey Chestnut in action tonight with the Barstool After Dark crew. He deserves every cold beer he's about to consume on that stream.
Advertisement
PS: if all this dog talk has got your stomach rumbling, here's an A+ recipe to make tonight. You can't skip lunch dinner.