A Statue That Every Man Would Simp Over

Only Nicky Clicky could make an entire video about some random statue in some random corner of Chicago and somehow make it not just entertaining, but weirdly horny. When I first heard Nick was simping over a statue, my mind immediately went to some Italian Renaissance bullshit. I couldn’t name a single piece from back then, but that’s just where my brain went.

Turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Nick brought me to this statue in person, and it took every ounce of self-control not to bark like a dog. This statue was stunning. Perfectly posed. Unreal fake boobs. Immaculate hair. It looked like someone crafted it in a lab to be hot and mysterious. I even considered hopping the fence for a closer look, but apparently I’m not the first one to have that idea. Right next to it was a sign that read, “Area under surveillance. We will call the police.”

So, I kept my distance. But her beauty? Still lives in my head rent free. Don’t believe me? Take a look for yourself.