This Woman Has Gone Viral for Believing She Has 'Polyphonic Perception', Which Seemingly Just Means Being Able To Identify a Beat

This week's Made-Up Thing To Make People Feel Special is something called "polyphonic perception," which, based on this woman's video being my only exposure to it, means you are able to hear the beat in a song. I believe this would mean roughly 95 percent of the world's population has this supposed supernatural ability.

And putting aside the absurdity of claiming this to be some sort of superpower, the song you use as an example is "My Love" by Justin Timberlake, a beat every adult in America could identify instantaneously? This is a song with 560 million streams on Spotify. "Look, I can identify that there are layers of vocals on top of synths and a kick drum." Yeah pal, that's just a 2006 JT song. I could tell you that without even listening to it.

With no warning whatsoever, if someone started playing "My Love" and said I had to make ridiculous hand movements to the beat to preserve my life, I could do it flawlessly. Do this to a song you've never heard before and I will be mildly amused.

The good news is I learned today I apparently have this unparalleled musical ability and it is something that needs to be shown off. I will now have Timberlake queued up at all times, ready to amaze everyone at a moment's notice with my polyphonic perception.