Women In NYC Are Now Stealing Lunch Salads From Finance Bros And Stalking Them On LinkedIn In An Attempt To Counter The Broken Dating Scene

Listen, dating was never supposed to be easy, especially in a giant city like NYC. I couldn't tell you what the weather is even like in that city these days, but by all accounts dating is worse than it's ever been. Long are the days you might find your potential wife or husband reaching for the gnocchi in the Trader Joe's frozen aisle, or maybe even a dating app with a success rate higher than .00001%. It's time to get an intergalactic brain if you find yourself single and that's apparently what these women are resorting to.

I wouldn't recommend stealing someone's salad because I would assume that's relatively illegal, but that's maybe what makes this so genius. If you think Kyle from Goldman is going to press charges on you for his $22 Sweetgreen salad instead of responding to your LinkedIn message asking you out to 310 Bowery then you're sadly mistaken. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I can't even be mad at this big brain play. Next time you think your salad was taken by the homeless guy searching for his next meal, it's probably just Bethany from Rutgers Alpha Phi who just viewed your profile on LinkedIn.

The only thing I can recommend here is that this is a clear example of something women can do and men can't do. A fella takes a salad and shoots off a LinkedIn DM and he's placed on a watchlist somewhere, so maybe stick to the local bookstore or bar on a Tuesday if you're in that boat.

Good luck out there.

P.S. Turns out this might not be a NYC experience but we all know that tweet isn't true because I heard the Chicago office has catered food everyday for lunch while the NYC office eats some Costco bulk bought popcorn bags: