Karen Read Retrial Recap No. 5: The Cops Who Delivered the Most Ridiculous Testimony are Being Phased Out of Public View

7/07/2025 7:30 PM

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It's been a while since we've revisited the Karen Read retrial. But even three weeks removed from a verdict, this story is far, far from over.

There can be no question, this was more than just a garden variety loss for the Commonwealth. They emptied the treasury on this one. To make yet another sports analogy, after a mistrial in the first case just over a year ago, the Norfolk County District Attorney's office decided to spend. DA Michael Morrissey:

… went hard into the free agent market to sign new lead prosecutor Hank Brennan. He went to Alabama for expert witness Shanon "With Two N's" Burgess and paid for him to buy a brand new Lexus SUV to test:

… and paid his firm about a half million dollars in all. And still the prosecution finished in last place in a two-team division.

An L like that has to fall on somebody. In sports, you can't fire the owner. Which in this metaphor is Morrissey, though based on the latest polling the voters of Norfolk County will do that the first chance they get:

For now, it's all about assigning blame to whichever Fall Guys you can. Which in the case of this retrial, appears to be the worst of the worst of the law enforcement officers who testified.

Yes, it would seem that the way most of them seemed to be skating in the wake of their failed investigation last year:

…isn't happening now that the Commonwealth has extended its losing streak to two trials:

Today it was announced that State Trooper Yuri Bukhenik is being slowly put out to stud:

… attempted lynching to be "rehomed" -- Michael Proctor FIRED, Brian Tully REASSIGNED and now Yuri.
Turtleboy had rumor first Sat. nite, now CONFIRMED.
Developing….

The MA State Police has reportedly decided to move Bukhenik as far geographically far away from Norfolk County as they can without trading him to another state for cash considerations and a Lead Investigator to Be Named Later:

And went so far as to make the unusual move of explaining themselves:

"Division of Standards and Training" sounds a lot like what the many excellent cops I used to know from my courthouse days used to call "The Rubber Gun Club." Basically taking Bukhenik away from public scrutiny and putting him behind closed doors where he can ride out his career with full pay all the way to a full pension.

As a refresher, here are a couple of his more golden moments to explain the move:

… of it was missing, and we were locating pieces that were consistent with texture, color and size fragments from that SUV on the lawn. So I wasn't assuming anything. The evidence was speaking to us.
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AJ: Do you know what word theory means?
YB: I'm sorry. English is, like a third, third language for me. So if you can bring up the Webster's Dictionary, I can read it out.
AJ: You want to pull up the Webster dictionary to define the word that you used 40s ago. We're working off of a ‘theory’, quote unquote. You said it, not me.

Now we know what denying the existence of the LEAD lead investigator in the murder of a fellow police officer then hiding behind the excuse you don't know the meaning of a 3rd grade vocabulary word you just used will get you. A cushy, behind the scenes desk job at full benefits. Let this be a warning to all future LEO's working on a sketchy criminal case.

Which leads us, blissfully, back to everybody's favorite former Canton Police Officer Kelly Dever. Who ever since she told federal investigators that her boss and Brian Higgins - who was at the very least a witness in the John O'Keefe homicide case, and at most a Person of Interest - had full access to Read's SUV, has been advancing her career nicely. Not coincidentally, by recanting everything she saw on the Canton PD sally port cameras.

… Berkowitz go into the sallyport together and alone with the SUV for a wildly long time?
KD: That was my recollection at the time.
AJ: So you did say that at the time?
KD: That was what I recollected. Okay.
Devers now says that is "distorted" memory.

That change of heart (and eyewitness testimony) earned Devers a transfer to the Boston Police. And a rare, unheard of really, face to face with the Commissioner, who told her to "Do the right thing." With some nice bumps in pay as she went:

… at City of Boston and had an annual salary of $143,562 according to public records.
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In year 2023 Kelly Dever's salary was 36 percent lower than average Police Officer salary in the state of Massachusetts.
In year 2024 Kelly Dever's salary was 7 percent higher than average Police Officer salary in the state of Massachusetts.

Essentially, she has been Doing the Right Thing all the way to the top. But now apparently needs a break from all the excitement, the notoriety, and the pay raises:

Where this fallout will end is anyone's guess. There are still conflicting reports about whether or not the Feds are still looking into this whole affair. They're not saying because they don't have to. But now that we've found out Jeffrey Epstein killed himself and never had a client list - even with all those clients - maybe the government will find the time to look into how shoddy and suspicious this entire investigation and trial was conducted.

In the meantime, enjoy your rest, Trooper Bukhenik. Same to you, Officer Dever. Keep giving off that Aubrey Plaza energy, wherever you are: