Watch This When You're High - The Great Adventure of The Origin of Man

Thirty million years ago a new group of creatures appeared on planet Earth: the great apes. From their ranks arose one family, gifted with exceptional skills: our protagonists. This family would change the face of our world forever. Here, for the very first time in television history, is the saga of our origins, told through the story of one single family - an epic journey upon which the latest scientific discoveries shine an exciting new light. AKA First Man: The New Story Of Our Origins

Ok, I'm not saying that I am one of those evolution-theory deniers by any means, but...

I watched this documentary a few nights ago when I couldn't fall asleep, and now I’m suspicious of everything. 

This thing claims we’ve been around for millions of years. Millions. As in, we started developing into “proto-humans” back when the Earth was basically a jungle gym for "saber-toothed" apes. And somehow, after all that time, we still have some of us putting ketchup on pasta and walking into traffic while looking at their phones. If we've been “evolving” for that long, shouldn’t we be better at literally everything?

The documentary is beautifully narrated, with sweeping music and dramatic CGI, but every five minutes, I found myself yelling, “Wait, what?” at the screen. Thirty million years ago… great apes. Six million… upright walking. A couple hundred thousand… language. And then boom- TikTok.

I don’t buy it. Either we’re the slowest learners in the history of the galaxy, or something ain’t adding up.

Honestly, the most mind-blowing part of this wasn’t the fossil record or the Neanderthals surviving hell on Earth, it was realizing just how underwhelming we turned out after supposedly surviving ice ages, giant dangerous predators, and volcanic extinction events.

Keep the suggestions coming. Keep them classy. No butt stuff.