Charlize Theron Went On Call Her Daddy And Bragged To Alex Cooper About Banging The Luckiest 26 Year Old That Ever Lived
When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I always thought if I could trade places with anybody alive that person would be Derek Jeter.
Yes, a New York Yankee. But good Lord. Talk about a guy who had it all. Fame. Babes. Rings. Babes. A squeky clean image. Babes. King of the best city in the world. And did I mention babes?
Then, in my late 20s and early 30s, it shifted to TB12.
I loved Tara Reid in her American Pie days, loved Bridget Moynahan even more, and loved the Patriots dominating the world more than both of them combined. I was never a huge Giselle fan, but I always just went with the same line of thinking that famous Jets fan did when they passed on Dan Marino in the 1983 draft.
Clearly, if the man who could have any woman in the world chose her, then he must know something we don't.
Plus, he redefined what "winning" and success are. In the toughest sport, in the toughest era, of all time. The guy was a modern-day parable. You get the point.
Well, fast forward to today, 2025. And here I am, shocked and awed like I haven't been in ages. I honestly thought I had seen and heard it all. But man, was I wrong.
From the clouds comes some 26 year old who I've never seen, and don't even know the name of, yet I find myself green with envy.
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Can you even imagine?
I have so many questions. So many. Like first off, who is this guy? He's either gotta be the best looking dude on the face of the Earth, or have the kind of game that borders on having hypnotic powers. Or both.
Secondly, how did this go down? Love Alex, but she's gotta do a better job here with the follow up questions. Inquiring minds want to know. Did he pick her up at a bar? At a restaurant? Was he an extra or part of the crew on a movie set? Is he her trainer? Sould cycle instructor?
Third, can you imagine being friends with this guy?
What up bro? How was your weekend? Can't believe it rained again. This summer sucks so far. What did you do?
Mine was great. Fucked Charlize Theron, no big deal.
It's such a preposterous claim that there is 0.000% chance any of his boys could have believed him until this interview aired and this clip went viral. It's like the kid you knew in high school who was always bragging about hooking up with girls that everybody knew he was lying about (like the time everybody was out of town for the weekend and he had a threesome. You had to be there.) Except this is that on steroids.
And talk about a resume builder. Having one of the most beautiful women of all time brag on one of the biggest podcasts in the world that fucking you was "fucking amazing" is the highest of high praise I think I've ever seen. This kid is going to be fighting chicks off with a stick from here on out. Good for this guy. I see you player.
Hit the music
p.s. -
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