Dumping Them Out: ChatGPT, Elephants, The Hills
Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. There's a website called Mix. It's the significantly worse modern day version of StumbleUpon. You sign up for an account, then put in your interests, then every time you hit the 'mix' button a new website pops up. I did this for a Dumping Them Out one time before when I didn't feel like using any energy to actually come up with something to write about. I'm doing it again now.
The first website it gave me was a "ChatGPT Cheat Sheet". That's gotta be about as low as you can go as a human right? Consulting a cheat sheet on how to use a service that's literally a cheat code to doing all of the things you could ever possibly need to do as a human. Imagine consulting that for real. That would suck.
Next one was a picture of some butterflies hanging out on a leaf. It's gotta be a pretty traumatizing thing for a caterpillar to turn into a butterfly. One second you're crawling. Then all of the sudden you're trapped inside of a condom. Then when you come out you're not even a little bit like a caterpillar anymore. You're like a quarter of the size and flying.
Next page was a video of a couple elephants touching trunks. When I met my fiancee she had a bunch of elephant shit around the house. There was a chaise upholstered in elephants. There was various elephant artwork around the house. So I was like, "Bitch why are there elephants everywhere". And she was like, "What are you talking about?" And I was like, "What do you mean what am I talking about it's literally elephant city in here." And she was like, "Oh yeah I guess I told my ex-boyfriends mom that I liked elephants, so she used to get me a lot of elephant stuff." And I was like, "I mean this is more than just a few elephant things. You have an elephant themed apartment. You're the queen of elephants." And she was like, "Haha I guess I never realized that". And I was like, "No shut the fuck up. You can't pass this off like you just so happen to have elephants wall to wall and you're just now realizing it. You fucking love elephants don't you?". And she was like, "Well yeah I guess I used to want to go work with the elephants in Thailand." And I was like, "Ok that's more like it. It's you're dream to work with elephants isn't it." And she was like, "I mean yeah I wouldn't mind working with elephants some day." And I was like, "Alright bitch fine. Clearly you and your ex-boyfriend had an elephant themed relationship and you'e trying to act like elephants weren't a massive part of your life before you met me. Which is fine. But like. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's elephants."
Next website was selling ancient rocks with water trapped inside. I'd like to drink that water. It would either kill me or give me super powers.
Next video was a hard ass looking dude with long hair and a long beard. He was standing super still holding a bird feeder and he had a humming bird eating out of his palm. The only other guy I've seen do that is Spencer Pratt. Spencer Pratt was the villain on The Hills. He was a huge manipulative piece of shit who convinced Heidi Montag to marry him. The whole world hated that they were married. For good reason too. He fucking sucked. But they got married anyways. It was so bad that Heidi's family disowned here. But that show ended in 2010. Guess who's still together today? Spencer and Heidi. And by all accounts he's like, the best husband ever. Super supportive of all her endeavors and shit. If you ask me, it's legitimately the best "against all odds" love story of our generation. Every single person in their lives were telling them they don't belong. Every single person who watched The Hills hated them together. But they're fucking making it. Their relationship looks way better than half the relationships I know. Good for them.
