Where Dicky Lovelady Ranks In The All-Time Top-10 Big (League) "Dicks"
Welcome to post NBA/NHL Finals programming. Clem blogged the news that Richard Lovelady is starting off with a fresh "Dicky" in New York and that has left me wondering when his next baseball card will drop with the name change so I can add it to my illustrious funny baseball card collection sitting somewhere in the "I'll totally use one day" pile in the garage.
Until then - this warrants a fresh update to the top-ten baseball "Dick" names of all time. Yep - that's what I have for you today. Boy aren't you lucky. We are off to go on a...
10a: Dick Hunt
The OG DH. I mean this dude literally died the year Babe Ruth was born. Only played 11 games, but it seems he finally found what he was looking for when he died at Green-Wood cemetery. To each their own.
10b: Dick Hyde
It's a shame Hyde wasn't born earlier. Hunt never even had a chance to find him.
8: Dick Cox
I have a question. How do you pivot from Elmer to Dick? Richard is crazy enough, but Elmer literally has zero common letters or phonetic similarities. And come one dude. You already have a phallic last name. A plural one at that! What are you trying to tell us? Is this some Medusa syndrome going on down there? Might want to get that cleaned up. Don't worry. I know a guy.
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7: Dick Hoover
I tried hard in giving Dick's parents an out here but the Hoover vacuum company started in 1908. Plenty of time to figure out not to name your kid Dick in the year 1925. Then again - they did at least go with Richard so kinda on him I guess.
6: Dick Such
I'd be sweating bullets as a radio guy back in the day making sure I don't Freudian slip and mispronounce "Such" every single time.
5: Dick Wantz
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OK - I need this card actually. "Dick Wantz P". What else is there to say? The story of man.
4: Johnny Dickshot
Putting Johnny 4th might actually be a hot take. If you think "Ugly" deserves the 1 or 2 spot I won't fight you much.
3: Dicky Lovelady
Dick Wantz (P). Dicky Lovelady (P). While the former is much more forward, Lovelady gets the higher rank seeing as it's a name that could only have been made up by Brick from Anchor Man. I guess saying Long live Richard would be deadnaming now. So make sure to show some Lovelady for Dicky.
2: Dick Pole
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I'm pretty sure I gave this Dick Pole to Hank Lockwood as a welcoming gift when I came to Chicago for a football stream. Don't worry though - I have a couple others.
1: Dick Burns
I mean let's be honest. Back in the Civil War days who's dick didn't burn before penicillin was invented? I can only imagine the etymology here. This guy walked into Ellis Island with waterlogged paperwork and the registration guy ran out of ideas in trying to figure out his name:
"Were you a miller back in your home country? Did you live amongst countrymen?? …. No? Nothing??? OK then just tell me how you feel."