Today in Airplane Meltdowns– Southwest Passenger Loses Her God Damn Mind Before Takeoff at LaGuardia Airport

You just can't behave that way in an airplane and expect to get away with it without a viral video. Not in this day and age. If you're over-served at the bar, and you call a stranger a fat ass bitch then grab a fistful of her hair. Then proceed to tell the "ugly ass fucking dude" next to her that he'll never get laid again. Then you tell the "black guy" next to you that "your boyfriend is fucking a black guy" (I think that's what I heard there). MAYBE you get away with a that at the bar. You might even get away with it at a grocery store, or a public park, or any establishment where the people around you are caught off guard by your behavior. There's lots of places you can have a random drunken outburst, call a stranger a dumb cunt, then slink off into the distance never to be heard from again. But never on an airplane. That's why it seems like these incidents are always happening on airplanes. Because there's not a single person in that small metal tube who has a single thing better to do in that moment than wait for something to happen. If you have any sort of drunken outburst on an airplane that's greater than a 4-out-of-10 on the outburst scale, someone's is gonna get you on video. You're probably going viral. You're probably losing your job. It's only the very very VERY lucky (and uniquely hot) people whose outbursts can be parlayed into something that benefits them.

But unfortunately, on a viral moments likability scale, the allegedly drunk woman outbursting on Southwest Airlines in this most recent airplane freakout video falls closer to the "Celebrities singing Imagine during COVID" range than she does to Tiffany Gomas. And I'm afraid there's no coming back from that. I mean maybe she could throw a Hail Mary and go the OnlyFans route. I know there's been airplane freakouts by people whose OnlyFans I'd like to see less. But still... that was some pretty unlikable stuff. 

I'm still waiting for something like this to happen on one of my flights. Just once I'd like to witness something wild on an airplane. I honestly don't know what more I have to do. I've been flying Spirit Airlines my whole life. I've had such bad luck when it comes to experiencing wild airplane moments, that I've genuinely come to believe that Spirit Airlines has been the victim of a vicious smear campaign by competing airlines who are trying to drive business away from the cost leader in their industry. Until I personally experience something that shows me otherwise, I have no choice but to believe Spirit is an upstanding airline.